Ramblings of a Cellist Nerd

Doctor Who Meme - Day 19 – The Scene That Made You Cry the Most

2010-10-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

Got your tissues? Okay good.

I can think of a few selects scenes wher eIve cried with Doctor Who, but I've mentioned it before.
And its Def this one:
(Spoilers for just about every season ahead!)
End of series 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6O2vP7uLVs

Do I even have to explain?
I mean, the Doctor has lost all his companions and Donna.
DoctorDonna.
The best one yet and he HAS to let her go.
It's almost worst when he doesnt cry.
I think I was bawling the entire end of that episode. So sad.

I'll list someothers...cause.
2. 10's regeneration.
He just breaks my heart in this.
3. End of series 2
I dont like rose that much. Like, I love her so much better with 9 and it just never hit me with their relationship, even when she gets 10's clone.
But this still deserves to be on the list. Because it is sad. and it did make me cry the first time watching it.
4. 9's Regeneration.
Because 9 is so goofy and nice and so so so in love with Rose and when you start to watch the this show from Series 1...omgosh. I knew Tennant was great before I watched and all. Already loved him but still. Regenerations are sad.
5. the end of Sound of Drums.
There was so much with what was going on. I was so freaked out.

I can think of others that made me tear up and such but most emotional for me? Yea.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 18 – Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

2010-10-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

Fancy-Tickling!

Todays is something cool Ive come across.
I listen to the nerdist podcast on itunes. its fun. I mean, there is kinf of frequent bad language and innuendos and the such but you get people like Craig Ferguson talking about Doctor Who.
Its just about nerdy stuff.

Well this is from the site.
One of the writers has started post a Doctor who thing and I will link the article titles.

Doctor Who for Newbies: The First Doctor
Doctor Who for Newbies: The Second Doctor
Doctor Who for Newbies: The Third Doctor
Doctor Who for Newbies: The Fourth Doctor
Doctor Who for Newbies: The Fifth Doctor

also, have you heard the news?
The Doctor will not only be in America but is also now immortal.

Have your tissues for tomorrows post.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 17 – A Piece of Who-Related FanArt

2010-10-11T23:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry Im such a bad poster.
Ive been busy and life is crazy.

I couldn't think of much for this one then I remmbered stuff my friend Emily posted.
She made a River song journal:

And a TARDIS canister type thing

More pictures here.

Tomorrow is fancy-tickling and I already know what Im gonna post.
:D

Doctor Who Meme - Day 16 – Your Favorite Who-Related FanFic

2010-10-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't read any FanFic for Doctor who.

I used to read FanFic for Harry Potter back iin the day before book 5 and 6 and sometimes I like reading ones about harry and giunny and ron and hermione and their togetherness, but I jsut cant read DW fanfic for some reason.

Maybe cause its all mostly Ten/Rose or Rose/Ten ll which I do not ship at all

(Rose/Nine People!!!)

Anyways. chyea.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 15 – Favorite Who-Related Tumblr

2010-10-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

I just recently got a tumblr.

I put off this post and then was on muh tumblr and saw a post I liked.
http://sonicmedoctor.tumblr.com/post/1228758691/a-tenner

Then I realized it might mean another account.
SO.

I really like this one: http://doctorwhosexualreview.tumblr.com/

It's a fun one to follow.
^_^

Doctor Who Meme - Day 14 – The Villain Who Scared You the Most

2010-09-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

And we continue on with the theme that the best villians are in my favourite episodes.

BTW, Im telling you now, its not Daleks. Just because the Doctor and Jack have issues with them..not me.
And not even Cybermen!
I know, right?

Anybody guessing?

Okay. I'll tell you.

The Vashta Nerada.

I dub you DW Nerd if you know off the top of your head which episodes they appear in
(If you dont - Silence In The Library/Forest of the Dead)

I know they scare me the most for two reasons.
1. Childhood fears.
Maybe its largely due to studying more pyschcology npw, but I've never really gotten over my fear of the dark.
And that's what this monster/villian is. Its dark and its shadow and it kills you so so quickly.

2. Circumstancial.
The day I watched these episodes I later went out with my college group and we played laser tag.

I watched two hours on these monsters that kill you in shadow and then I went and played in the dark.

Smart Amy.
heheheh

Oh BTW, awesome site here that has directory of all the villians and mosters of Doctor who with their reasons for being a villian. I love it.

See you tomorrow. With tumblrness.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 13 – Your Favorite Villain

2010-09-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

Okay I have two..three for this.
Because even though they are the villains that freak me out the most..they are most definitely the best.

1.The Clockwork Men

Okay maybe I just have love for this episode, but really even the Doctor likes them.
And also, I was watching one of the DW Confidentals for Season 5 and Moffat was was talking about the monsters he's written about and such and got to the point of, these are really the first monsters in Doctor Who that have been the monster-under-the-bed.

and really. When You're a kid, thats what scares you the most

2. The Weeping Angels
"Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and *don't blink*! Good luck."

The scariest things ever.
The fact that you see statues everywhere in real life is what makes these even more bad-ass.
"Fascinating race, the Weeping Angels. The only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely. No mess, no fuss, they just zap you into the past and let you live to death. The rest of your life used up and blown away in the blink of an eye. You die in the past, and in the present they consume the energy of all the days you might have had, all your stolen moments. They're creatures of the abstract. They live off potential energy."

Doctor: [on the DVD] The Lonely Assassins, that's what they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the Universe, or very nearly. And they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are Quantum Locked. They don't exist when they are being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn into stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink. Then, oh yes, it can.
Sally Sparrow: [to Larry, about a nearby statue] Don't take your eyes off that.
Doctor: [on the DVD] That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. Loneliest creatures in the Universe. And I'm sorry. I am very, very sorry. It's up to you now.

*note* The two parter in Series 5 with them. SO FREAKED OUT.

3. The Master

Do I even need to say why?
(THE PRETTY)
*ahem*
Another Time Lord, a match for The Doctor.
I know he existed back from the Classic who days and I love how he fits into the storyline of New Who.
He's just..yea.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 12 – Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

2010-09-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

I unintentionally took the weekend off.
But in my defense, I've been sick since Thursday morning.

Fancy Tickling today.....
Because I cant think of much..we head to the Youtubes!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxB1gB6K-2A

Enjoy. ^___^

Doctor Who Meme - Day 11 – Your Favorite Season (Classic or New)

2010-09-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

My favourite season.

I have yet to watch classic who so that's out.

and after thinking about it.

I have to say.....Series 4.

For multiple reasons.
First off.
Donna.

She comes back. And her and Doctor's relationship. Its great. They got the bantering and everything.
And she's not going to be interested in him like other companions.
He simply wants a mate.
And she wants a bigger life.

Second.
The Episodes.

I love the mystery of Pompeii and its nice seeing The Doctor behind it.
Even though the Ood creep me out, I like how it ends.
We have Martha back as the kick-ass girl that she really is.
We have the Doctor..well...becoming a father.
We have Agathe Christie (and Donna gaining points for being a compnion who actually dresses in that time era's clothing)
We have a library! and the introduction of River Song.
We start to see how big Donna impacts the Doctor and the world
and then...Jack HArkness.
heh.
And Rose.
And Srah Jane.
and a bunch bunch of other people coming back to help the Doctor.

I may have cried most at the season finale for this particular season, but it's my favourite.

I could keep going on but in short, its got it all. A great Doctor, an great companion, good episodes, old companions and friends back, a good storyline and plot through the season.

..yea.

(Fancy Tickling tomorrow!!)

Doctor Who Meme - Day 10 – A Who-Related Photo That You Took

2010-09-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Uhm...
*takes picture now*

Yes I own a pocket watch.
Yes I am a dork.

It wouldve had been better had I had red hair by now. but ohwells.

Comparison:

Doctor Who Meme - Day 09 – A Who-Related Photo That Makes You Angry/Sad

2010-09-22T18:38:00.000-07:00

But no!
I dont wanna do this one!
*sadness*

Spoilers people. sad ones.

Im not a huge fan or shipper of 10/Rose but you can't help but not be sad when he couldnt say those last words to her.

No!
Donna!
*weeps*
(The season 4 finale is the most Ive ever cried for any episode of any TV show ever.)

And End of Time.
We didnt want you to go either Tennant.

Tomorrows post should be happier. Methinks.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 08 - A Who-Related Photo That Makes You Happy

2010-09-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

Teehee

A crack in time and space....

FORREALS.

Heh heh heh

TARDIS CAKE!

Matt Smith been reminding you of anybody?

:D

Doctor Who Meme - Day 07 – Your Favorite Piece of Music

2010-09-20T16:18:00.000-07:00

I figured I should post. Cause I'm only like..what. 13 days behind.
Go me.
Heh.

I have no idea for this one. Honestly.
I tend to get lost in the story of Doctor Who and for once in all my music geekness dont always notice it.
Although. Lizbeth came across this the other day. Such fun.

oh.
There is the Tenth Doctor's theme. Which im just..yesh please.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga1KO5G4WXw&feature=player_embedded

Donna's Theme...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj2YxlFj-XE&feature=related

AND Amy's theme...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjzWmgqoJz4

Loveliness.

That's it for today.

Doctor Who Meme Day 6 - Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

2010-09-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

oh lookie.
fancy tickling today.
So i shall give you..Mini-episodes of Doctor Who. Mainly stuff that got placed between seasons and are no where near long enough to be a full episode.
Sometimes they show a bigger and fuller connection and sometimes..they're just fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZK8tPwA0Ro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7boeBf5pbQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKDDo2YEGoA

Thats all for now!

Doctor Who Meme - Day 05 – Your Favourite Companion

2010-09-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

OH HEY WE LIVED THROUGH THAT LONG DAY 4.
Heh.

Okay. Having watched all the latest 5 seasons since February or so, I didn't think it would be easy to pick a favourite companion.
But as always, my biasness rules and makes it easy.

Favorite Who Companion - Amy Pond

Amelia (Young Amy): Dear Santa, thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you but... honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Shy says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know its not cause at night there's voices so... please please can you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman, or...
[Amy trails off hearing the sound of the TARDIS crashing into her garden] Back in a moment. [Amy runs to her window and sees the "Police Public Call Box] Thank you Santa.

The Doctor: I'm not 6 months late, I'm 12 years late!
Amy: He's coming!
The Doctor: Why did you say 6 months?!
Amy: We've got to go!
The Doctor: This matters! This is important. Why did you say 6 months?
Amy: WELL WHY DID YOU SAY 5 MINUTES?!
The Doctor: What? What?
Amy: Come on!
The Doctor: What?!
The Doctor: You're Amelia!
Amy: You're late.
The Doctor: ...Amelia Pond, you're the little girl!
Amy: I'm Amelia, and you're late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat.
Amy: Twelve years!
The Doctor: A cricket bat!
Amy: Twelve years and four psychiatrists.
The Doctor: Four?
Amy: I kept biting them.
The Doctor: Why?
Amy: They said you weren't real.

"What if you were really old and really kind and alone? Your whole race dead, no future, what couldn't you do then? If you were that old and that kind and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry."

Amy: Hey, look at this. Got my spaceship, got my boys. My work here is done.
Rory: Pfft, we are not her boys.
The Doctor: Yeah we are.
Rory: ...yeah we are

The Doctor: Amy, only one thought. One simple instruction: Don't follow me under any circumstances.
Amy: I won't
(The Doctor enters the church)
Vincent Van Gogh: Will you follow him?
Amy: Of course!
Vincent Van Gogh: I love you.

Amy: I'm sorry you're so sad.
Vincent Van Gogh: I'm not. These moods torment me for weeks, for months, but I'm good now. If Amy Pond can soldier on, then so can Vincent Van Gogh.
Amy: I'm not "soldiering on". I'm fine.
Vincent Van Gogh: Oh, Amy. I hear the song of your sadness. You've lost someone, I think.
Amy: I'm not sad.
Vincent Van Gogh: Then why are you crying? It's alright. I understand.
Amy: I'm not sure I do.

Amy: When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend. The raggedy doctor. My raggedy doctor. But he wasnt imaginary. He was real. I remember you. I remember! I brought the others back, I can bring you home too. Raggedy man, I remember you and you are late for my weeding! I found you, I found you in words like you knew I would. That's why you told me the story of the brand new ancient blue box. Oh, clever, very clever.
Rory: Amy, what is it?
Amy: Something old, something new, something borrowed...something blue.

shessogorgeous.andsmart.andfunny.ANDSHEHASMYNAME.

Doctor Who Meme - Day 04 – Your Favorite Doctor (Part 4)

2010-09-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

And the last part!
Ima try and keep the sexy in here, but any DW fan knows this will get a little sad so keep tissues nearby.

Christmas Special 08 -The Next Doctor

Doctor, Next Doctor: [together] Alons-y!

The Next Doctor: It's strange, though. I talk of Cybermen from the stars, and you don't blink, Mr. Smith.
The Doctor: Ah, don't blink, remember that? Whatever you do, don't blink. The blinking and the statues with Sally and the angels. No?
The Next Doctor: You're a very odd man.
The Doctor: Mmm. I still am.

The Next Doctor: Then I beg you, John, help me.
The Doctor: Ah. Two words I never refuse.

The Next Doctor: There she is. My transport through time and space. The TARDIS!
Doctor: You've got a balloon.
The Next Doctor: TARDIS. T - A - R - D - I - S. It stands for Tethered Aerial Release Developed in Style! Do you see?
Doctor: Well, I do now. I like it. Good TARDIS.

Jackson Lake: Tell me one thing. All those facts and figures I saw of the Doctor's life, you were never alone. All those bright and shining companions. But not any more?
Doctor: No.
Jackson Lake: Might I ask why not?
Doctor: They leave. Because they should or because they find someone else. And some of them, some of them... forget me. [pause] I suppose in the end, they break my heart.

Easter Special 09 - Planet of the Dead

Christina: It's Christina Da Souza. To be precise it's Lady Christina Da Souza.
Doctor: Oh, that's handy because I'm a lord.
Christina: Seriously, lord of where?
Doctor: It's quite a big estate.

The Doctor: Anyway, come on. Allons-y!
Christina: Oui, mais pas si nous allons vers un cauchemar. (Yes, but not if we go towards a nightmare.)
The Doctor: Ho, ho! We were made for each other

Christina: You look human.
Doctor: You look Time Lord.

Christina: Those things are going to turn the entire Earth into a desert. So why exactly are you smiling?
The Doctor: Worse it gets, the more I love it!
Christina: Me, too

Christina: But you were right, it's not about the money. I only steal things for the adventure and today with you; I want more days like this. I want everyday to be like this. We're made for each other, you said so yourself. The perfect team. Why not?
The Doctor: People have travelled with me and I've lost them. Lost them all. Never again

Christina: We could have been so good together.
Doctor: Christina, we were.

Nov Special 09 - The Waters of Mars

Adelaide Brooke: State your name, rank and intention.
Doctor: The Doctor, doctor, fun.

(to Mars colonists) "I should go. I really should go. I'm sorry. I'm, I'm sorry with all of my hearts, but it's one of those very rare times when I've got no choice. It's been an honor."

Adelaide: We're safe. It's hermetically sealed. They can't get in.
The Doctor: Water is patient, Adelaide. Water just waits. It wears down the cliff tops, the mountains, the whole of the world. Water always wins

Adelaide: But you said we die. For the future. For the human race!
Doctor: Yes, because there are laws. There are laws of time. Once upon a time there were people in charge of those laws but they died. They all died. Do you know who that leaves? *Me!* It's taken me all these years to realize that the laws of time are *mine* and they will obey me!

"For a long time now, I thought I was just a survivor. No, but I'm not. I'm a winner. That's who I am. The Time Lord Victorious."

Christmas Special 09 - The End of Time - Part 1

"Ah! Now. Sorry. There you are. So, where were we? I was summoned, wasn't I. An Ood in the snow, calling to me. Well, I didn't exactly come straight here; had a bit of fun y'know: traveled about, did this and that, got into trouble, you know me. It was brilliant! I saw the phosphorous carousel of the great Mingelinga Stat, saved a planet from the red carnivorous mor, named a galaxy Alison. Got married! That was a mistake. Good Queen Bess. And let me tell you, her nickname is no longer... mmm. Anyway, what do you want? "

Doctor: I'm going to die.
Wilfred: Well, so am I one day.
Doctor: Don't you dare!
Wilfred: Alright, I'll try not to.

Doctor: [Noticing Wilfred looking around the TARDIS] Ah. Right. Yes. Bigger on the inside. Do you like it?
Wilfred: I thought it'd be cleaner.
Doctor: Cleaner? I can take you back home right now!

The Master: (to the Doctor): All these years you thought I was mad, king of the wastelands but something is calling me, Doctor. What is it? What is it? What is it?

News Years Special 10 - The End of Time - Part 2

Doctor: There's an old Earth saying, Captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom and consolation to the soul in times of need.
Addams: What's that then?
Doctor: [shouts] Allons-y!

"[to the master] But really do you think I'd leave my best friend alone without a defense mechanism. "

Doctor: You're a genius. You're stone cold brilliant, you are, I swear, you really are. But you could be so much more. You could be beautiful. With a mind like that, we could travel the stars. It would be my honour. Because you don't need to own the universe, just see it. Have the privilege of seeing the whole of time and space. That's ownership enough.
Master: Would it stop then? The noise in my head.
Doctor: I can help.
Master: I don't know what I'd be without that noise.
Doctor: I wonder what I'd be without you.
Master: Yeah.

The Doctor: I'd be proud.
Wilfred: Of what?
The Doctor: If you were my dad.

Wilfred: Nine hundred years. We must look like insects to you.
The Doctor: I think you look like giants.

The Master: But, this is fantastic isn't it? The Time Lords restored!
The Doctor: You weren't there, in the final days of the war. You never saw what was born. That if the time lock's broken, then everything is coming through. Not just the Daleks but the Skaro Degradations. The Horde of Travesties. The Nightmare Child. The Could-Have-Been King with his army of Mean-Whiles and Never-Weres. The war turned into Hell. And that's what you opened right above the Earth. Hell is descending.
The Master: My kind of world.

Mickey: I told you to stay behind!
Martha: Well, it looked like you needed help. Besides, you're the one who persuaded me to go freelance.
Mickey: Yeah, but, we're being fired at by a Sontaran. A dumpling with a gun. This is no place for a married woman.
Martha: Well then, you shouldn't have married me.

"I don't want to go."

Doctor Who Meme - Day 04 – Your Favorite Doctor (Part 3)

2010-09-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

HULLO.
Today Im doing Season 4.
I decided to make a separate post for the specials cause *so many pictures, I kills your slow internets*
heh.

anyways. here we go.

Doctor Who - Series 4

Christmas Special - Voyage of the Damned

Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the Constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old and I'm the man who is gonna save your lives and all 6 billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?
Rickston Slade: No.
Doctor: In that case, allons-y.

Doctor: What's your first name?
Midshipman Frame: Alonso
Doctor: [in disbelief] You're kidding me!
Midshipman Frame: What?
Doctor: That's something else I've always wanted to say! Allons-y Alonso!

Partners in Crime

Doctor: I just want a mate.
Donna Noble: You just want to mate?
Doctor: I just want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: You're not matin' with me Sunshine!
Doctor: A mate! I want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: Well, just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you're just a long streak of nothing, y'know, alien nothing!

The Fires of Pompeii

"Some things are fixed, some things are in flux. Pompeii is fixed...Because that's how I see the universe. Every waking second, I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not... That's the burden of the Timelord, Donna. And I'm the only one left. "

Planet of the Ood

(I dont know why he looks so sexy behind those bars but *squees*)
"Millions of planets, millions of galaxies and we're on this one. Molto bene. Bellissimo. You said it, Donna. Born in Chiswick, a life of work and sleep and telly and rent and tax and takeaway dinners, all birthdays and Christmases and two weeks' holiday a year and then you end up here. Donna Noble, citizen of the Earth, standing on a different planet"
"Snow! Ahh, real snow! Proper snow at last."

The Sontaran Stratagem

Doctor: Well, if that's what you want. It's a bit soon. I had so many places I wanted to take you. The fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade, the lightning skies of Cotter Palluni's World, the diamond coral reefs of Kataa Flo Ko. Thank you. Thank you, Donna Noble, it's been brilliant. You've saved my life in so many ways. You're... you're just popping home for a visit, that's what you mean?
Donna: You dumbo.
Doctor: And then you're coming back?
Donna: Do you know what you are? A great big outer space dunce.
Doctor: ...Yeah.

The Poison Sky
Colonel Mace: [wearing gas mask, holding assault rifle] latest firing stock; what do you think, Doctor?
Doctor: [also wearing gas mask] Are you my mummy?

The Doctor's Daughter

Donna: Let me distract this one. I've picked up a few womanly wiles over the years.
Doctor: Let's... save your wiles for later...In case of emergency.

The Unicorn and The Wasp

Donna: Yeah but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie.
Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: No, but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. I mean that's like meeting Charles Dickens, and he's surrounded by ghosts, at Christmas.
Doctor: Well...
Donna: Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy's not real. Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!
Doctor: [leans in close to her] There's no Noddy.

Doctor: I need a shock!
Donna: Right, then. Big shock. Coming up. [Donna grabs the Doctor and plants a full-frontal kiss on him. The Doctor staggers away, lifts his face up to the ceiling and releases a cloud of poisons from his body]
Doctor: [gasps] Detox. Oh! I must do that more often. [looks at Donna apprehensively] I mean, the, the detox.
Agatha Christie: Doctor. You are... impossible! [the Doctor winks] Who are you?

Silence In The Library

"Books! People never really stop loving books. 51st century. By now you've got holovids, direct to brain downloads, fiction mist, but you need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath. The Library. So big it doesn't need a name. Just a great big "the." ...It's a world. Literally a world. The whole core of the planet is the index computer, biggest hard drive ever. And up here, every book ever written. Whole continents of Jeffrey Archer, Bridget Jones, Monty Python's Big Red Book. Brand new editions, specially printed. We're near the equator, so... (he licks his finger then lifts it up to feel the wind) this must be Biographies! I love biographies!"

River Song: Pretty boy! With me, I said! [Donna looks at the Doctor suggestively]
Doctor: [pause] Oh, I'm pretty boy!
Donna: Yes! Oh, that came out a bit quick.
Doctor: Pretty? [Donna and the Doctor shrug]

Forest of the Dead

"I'm giving you back your forests, but you are giving me them. You are letting them go. [the shadows are advancing] Don't play games with me! You just killed someone I like, that is not a safe place to stand! I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up. [the shadows stop advancing, pause, and shrink rapidly] "

River Song: Spoilers.

Midnight

"Sorry, I'm the Doctor, I'm very clever. "

Turn Left

Rose: I thought it was just the Doctor we needed but it's the both of you. The Doctor and Donna Noble together, to stop the stars from going out.

Rose: I think you dream about him, sometimes. It's a man in a suit? A tall, thin man, great hair. (stares at nothing in particular, remembering) Some...really great hair.

"Sometimes I think there's way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once, then I met your grandfather, then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time. Like something's binding us together. "

The Stolen Earth

The Doctor: Donna, come on, think, Earth. There must have been some warning. Was there anything happening back in your day, like electrical storms, freak weather, patterns in the sky?
Donna: Well, how should I know? No, I don't think so, no.
The Doctor: Oh, OK, never mind.
Donna: Although… there were the bees disappearing.
The Doctor: The bees disappearing? The bees disappearing. (An idea hits him) The bees disappearing!
Shadow Architect: How is that significant?
Donna: On Earth, we had these insects. Some people said it was pollution or mobile phones…
The Doctor: Or they were going back home!
Donna: Back home where?
The Doctor: The planet Melissa Majoria.
Donna: Are you saying bees are alien?
The Doctor: Don't be so daft. Not all of them. But, if the migrant bees felt something coming, some sort of danger and escaped… Tandocca!
Shadow Architect: The Tandocca Scale!
The Doctor: The Tandocca Scale is a series of wavelengths used as carrier signals by migrant bees. Infinitely small, no wonder we didn't see it, it's like looking for a speck of cinnamon in the Sahara but look… there it is! The Tandocca trail. The transmat that moved the planets was using the same wavelength. We can follow the path!

The Doctor: When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?
Donna: Just 'the darkness is coming'.
The Doctor: Anything else?
Donna: (after a pause; looking over his shoulder) Why don't you ask her yourself?

The Journey's End

(The Doctor's hand grows into a new body)
Donna: Doctor!
New Doctor: Oh, yes!
Donna: You're naked.
New Doctor: Oh, yes!

Doctor: I'm unique - never been another like me, 'cause all that regeneration energy went into the hand. Look at the hand - I love that hand - but then you touched it. *Wham!* [Donna startles] Shhhh! Instantaneous biological metacrisis! I grew... out of you. Still, could be worse...
Donna: Oi! Watch it, spaceman!
Doctor: Oi! Watch it, earthgirl! [Donna is taken aback] Oooh... I sound like you! I sound all - all sort of... rough!
Donna: Oi!
Doctor: Oi!
Donna: Oi!
Doctor: Spanners, shhhhh! Must've picked up a bit of your voice, that's all - is it? Did I? No! Ohhh, you are kidding me, no way! One heart - I've got one heart. This body... has got only one heart!
Donna: [Donna feels his heart beating] What, like, you're human?
Doctor: Awww, that's disgusting!
Donna: Oi!
Doctor: Oi!
Donna: *Stop it!*
Doctor: [suddenly realizing] No, wait, I'm... part-Time Lord, part human! Well, isn't that wizard?

The Doctor: How did you work that out? You-
New Doctor: Time Lord. Part Time Lord.
Donna: Part Human. Oh, yes! That was two-way biological meta-crisis. Half Doctor, half Donna!
The Doctor: The Doctor-Donna. Just like the Ood said, remember? They saw it coming. The Doctor-Donna.

Rose: Is anyone gonna tell us what's going on?
Donna: He (The Doctor) poured all his regeneration energy into his spare hand, I touched the hand, he grew out of that, but that fed back into me. But it just stayed dormant in my head til the synapses got that little extra spark kicking 'em into life. Thank you, Davros! Part Human, part Time Lord. And I got the best bit of the Doctor. I got his mind.
Sarah Jane: So there's three of you?!
Rose: Three doctors!?
Captain Jack: I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now!

Rose: I spent all of that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now!
The Doctor: But you've got to. We saved the universe, but at a cost, and the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own.
New Doctor: You made me!
The Doctor: Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone? That's me when we first met, and you made me better. Now you can do the same for him.
Rose: But he's not you.
The Doctor: He needs you. That's very me.
Donna: But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you? Tell her, go on.
New Doctor: I look like him. I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart.
Rose: Which means?
New Doctor: I'm part human. Specifically the ageing part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I can spend it with you, if you want.
Rose: (to The Doctor/New Doctor) All right, both of you answer me this. When I last stood on this beach on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it!
The Doctor: I said "Rose Tyler."
Rose: Yeah and how was that sentence gonna end?
The Doctor: Does it need saying?
Rose: New Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?
(The new Doctor whispers into Rose's ear, and they kiss)

The Doctor: I just want you to know, there are worlds out there. Safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble. A thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. But for one moment... one shining moment... she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.
Sylvia Noble: (indignant) She still is. She's my daughter.
The Doctor: Then maybe you should tell her that once in a while

(Okay, I went heavy on Journey's End. But can you blame me?)

Remembrance.

2010-09-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

9-11.

I can't say Happy Patriots Day or whatever the official national name of this holiday is.
Because its not happy.
Because it's not anything like that.

I grew up seeing 911 and thought emergency. I was taught by my parents - thats what you call in emergencies. Thats what you need.

9 years ago today I was 11 years old.
And I woke up and went to middle school to find that my country had been attacked.
In my lifetime.

I felt shocked and confused. All the teachers at school watched all us warily. We were in middle school.
Should we have known what happened? Could we have?

I don't anybody in this country knew.
9 years later and we've been through a war. A war that was always apparent or visible but effects are slowly showing.
In our politics and government and personal lives.
In our hearts.

9 years ago people's lives were lost. People who died for us not knowing they would.
And it didn't stop there.
9 years ago changed 3 little numbers forever.

This day 9 years ago made us remember and take stock of things.
It made part of our world fall apart, but it also brought us closer together.

I know I'll remember forever.
I will never forget.
God Bless us all.

*note: I am almost done with my DW picspam thing but I felt this was more appropriate for what today is*

Doctor Who Meme - Day 04 – Your Favorite Doctor (Part 2)

2010-09-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

I know these meme's and 30 day challenges are supposed to be done every single day but, I have a life.
Meaning I'm a sleep deprived college student who has too much homework.
But I shall try to be more dependable with these.

WHOS READY FOR SHEXI DOCTOR TIME.
:D

The Runaway Bride

Doctor: Question is, what did camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know... what's your job?
Donna: I'm a secretary.
Doctor: [scanning Donna with his sonic screwdriver] Weird. I mean, you're not special. You're not powerful. You're not connected. You're not clever. You're not important.
Donna: This friend of yours, just before she left, did she punch you in the face?
[slapping the sonic screwdriver out of the way] Stop bleeping me!

(The Doctor can be so human-dumb and Donna is just awesome.)

Smith and Jones

(two pictures because they both make me giggle and his hair. ahahaha)

"Humans. We’re stuck on the Moon running out of air with Judoon and a blood-sucking criminal and you’re asking personal questions!"
"Judoon platoon upon the Moon"
"It's raining, Martha! It's raining on the moon!"

Doctor: [getting the radiation out of his feet]Ow! Itchy... itchy... itchy... [takes his shoe of and puts it in the bin]
Martha Jones: Your completely mad
Doctor: Your right, I look daft with one shoe on [takes of other shoe and puts it in the bin as well] Bare foot on the moon!

The Shakespeare Code

"The play's the thing. [turning to Shakespeare] And yes, you can use that."

Gridlock

"New New York can start again. And they've got Novice Hame. Just what every city needs, cats in charge"

Daleks In Manhattan

"They survived. They always survive when I lose everything."

Evolution of the Daleks

"Oh Tallulah with three l's and an h... just you watch me [jumps up, takes off his coat and starts trashing around] What do I need, oh I dunno. How about a great big genetic laboratory. Oh, look I've got one. Lazlo, just you hold on! There's been too many deaths today, way too many people have died. Brand new creatures, wise old men and age old enemies. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now. I am NOT having ONE more dead. You got that? NO ONE! "

The Lazarus Experiment

Lazarus: You're right, Doctor. One lifetime's been too short for me to do everything I'd like. How much more I'll get done in two, or three, or four.
Doctor: It doesn't work like that. Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It's not the time that matters, it's the person.
Lazarus: But if it's the right person, what a gift that would be.
Doctor: Or what a curse. Look at what you've done to yourself.

42

Riley: Find the next number in the sequence: 313, 331, 367... what?
Martha: You said the crew knew all the answers!
Riley: The crew's changed since we set the questions.
Martha: You're joking.
The Doctor: 379.
Martha: What?
The Doctor: It's a sequence of happy primes. 379.
Martha: Happy what?
The Doctor: Just enter it!
Riley: Are you sure? We only get one chance.
The Doctor: Any number that reduces to 1 when you take the sum of the square of its digits and continually reiterate until it yields 1 is a happy number, any number that doesn't isn't, a happy prime is a number that's both happy and prime, now type it in! I don't know, talk about dumbing down. Don't they teach recreational mathematics anymore?

Human Nature

" I dream I'm this adventurer. This daredevil, a madman. The Doctor, I'm called. And last night, I dreamt that you were there. As my companion. "

Family of Blood

"Falling in love? That didn't even occur to him? "

Blink

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. "
"The angels are coming for you, but listen, your life could depend on this: don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and *don't blink*! Good luck. "

Utopia

Doctor: You might be out there somewhere.
Captain Jack Harkness: I can go meet myself.
Doctor: Well, the only man you're ever going to be happy with.
Captain Jack Harkness: This new regeneration, it's kinda cheeky.

The Sound of Drums

Doctor: [to Martha and Jack] Oh! I know what it's like. It's like when you fancy someone, and they don't even know you exist. That's what it's like.
[Martha looks crestfallen, and turns to Jack for support]
Captain Jack Harkness: [to Martha] You too, huh?

Captain Jack: All the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.
The Doctor: (musing) Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was, it was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of Time and Space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad. (beat) Oh, I dunno.
Martha: What about you?
The Doctor: Oh, the ones that ran away! I never stopped.

Last of the Time Lords

"One thing you can't do, stop them thinking! "
Captain Jack Harkness: But I keep wondering, what about aging? Cause I can't die but I keep getting older, the odd little, gray hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?
Doctor: I really don't know.
Captain Jack Harkness: Ok, vanity, sorry. Yeah... can't help it. Used to be a poster boy when I was a kid, living in the Bo-shang peninsula... tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency, they were so proud of me. The Face of Bo they called me... hummm! I'll see you! [Jack turns and leaves]
Doctor: [in disbelief] No.
Martha Jones: [incredulously] It can't be!
Doctor: [still in disbelief] No. Definitely not, no. No!

Doctor Who Meme - Day 04 – Your Favorite Doctor (Part 1)

2010-09-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

Okay okay okay.
I know I missed yesterday. And the day before. But I was messed up on sleep and doing homework and distracted by new shiny laptop.
*loves it*

In short, I was distracted by a few things and did not get to blogger to post.
But oh well.
I know. I'm such a dependable poster.

Okay then.
My favourite Doctor.
Like you all don't know already.

David Tennant. 10.

I'm going to copy what I saw someone else do and not do just a one day pic spam of him, but a three day one.
Because 10 was around for 3 seasons. And you can't limit the pictures from all those years into one days post now.

So we start with Season 2.

Christmas Invansion

"Is that the kind of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger?"
"See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I - I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Am I an old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob"
"You cut my hand off! And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first 15 hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this."
"No second chances. I'm that sort of a man."

New Earth

"Doctor: You were supposed to be dying.
Face of Boe: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait."

Tooth and Claw

"You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world! This room's the greatest arsenal we could have - arm yourselves!"

School Reunion

Okay okay okay.
I know I missed yesterday. And the day before. But I was messed up on sleep and doing homework and distracted by new shiny laptop.
*loves it*

In short, I was distracted by a few things and did not get to blogger to post.
But oh well.
I know. I'm such a dependable poster.

Okay then.
My favourite Doctor.
Like you all don't know already.

David Tennant. 10.

I'm going to copy what I saw someone else do and not do just a one day pic spam of him, but a three day one.
Because 10 was around for 3 seasons. And you can't limit the pictures from all those years into one days post now.

So we start with Season 2.

Christmas Invansion

"Is that the kind of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger?"
"See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I - I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Am I an old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob"
"You cut my hand off! And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first 15 hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this."
"No second chances. I'm that sort of a man."

New Earth

"Doctor: You were supposed to be dying.
Face of Boe: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait."

Tooth and Claw

"You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world! This room's the greatest arsenal we could have - arm yourselves!"

School Reunion

"Right, physics! Physics, eh? Physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physcis. Physics! Hope you're getting all this down."
"Correct-o-mundo! There's a word I've never used before, and hopefully never will again."

The Girl in the Fireplace

"I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!"
"Well, among other things, I *think* I just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. Do you know they'd never seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose, bananas are good."

Rise of the Cyberman

Doctor: We surrender. There's no need to damage us, we're good stock. We volunteer for the upgrade programme. Take us to be processed.
Cyberman:You are rogue elements.
Doctor: But we surrender.
Cyberman: You are incomptaible.
Doctor: But this is a surrender.
Cyberman: You will be deleted.
Doctor: But we're surrendering! Listen to me, we surrender!
Cyberman: You are inferior. Man will be reborn as cyberman, but you will perish under maximum deletion. Delete, delete, delete, DELETE!

The Age of Steel

Mickey: You're just making it up as you go along!
Doctor: Yup. But I do it brilliantly.

The Idiot's Lantern

"Well, for starters, I know... you can't wrap your hand round your elbow and make your fingers meet."

The Impossible Planet

"Did you have to say that? 'There's no turning back?' That's almost as bad as 'Nothing could possibly go wrong' or 'This'll be the best Christmas Walford's ever had."

The Satan Pit

"If they get back in contact - if you talk to Rose - just tell her... tell her... oh, she knows."
" If I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies, in this big grand scheme of gods and devils, that she’s just a victim. But I’ve seen a lot of this universe. I’ve seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods. And out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing… I believe in her."

Love & Monsters

"Here boy! Eat the food! Come on! Look at the lovely food! Isn't that nice? Isn't it? Yes it is - get out of here quickly - (refering to Elton) that's a boy how'd-ya-like-a-porky-chopy-then- I SAID RUN!"

Fear Her

" ...And in those days, everybody had a tea party to go to. Have you ever had those little cakes, with the crunchy ball bearings on top... ever had those... those things? Nobody else in the entire galaxy has ever even bothered to make edible ball bearings! Genius!"

Army of Ghosts

"So, you find a breach, probe it, the sphere comes through, 600 feet above London, BAM! It leaves a hole in the fabric of reality. And that hole, you think: "Should we leave it alone, should we back off, should we play it safe?" NAH, you think: "Let's make it BIGGER!"

Doomsday

"There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection, I'm in orbit around a super nova. (laughs softly) I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."
"Rose:[crying] I... I love you.
Doctor: [with a weak smile] Quite right too. [pause] And I suppose... if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler...
[fades away]

Doctor Who Meme: Day 03 – Your Favorite New Series Episode

2010-09-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Hi. Lets jump into this shall we?

My Favorite New Series Episode

That's...difficult.
Because I like so much.
So. Top 5, yes?

WARNING:
This is gonna be image heavy. I kills your dial-up.
Also, River Song warning.
Spoilers!
(okay, not really. I just like saying that)

5. Christmas Invasion

Tennant's first full episode as The Doctor.
And yes, he does spend like..most of it asleep, passed out.

But it's worth it when you get to the end and have him flirting with Rose, getting upset over not being ginger (again), quoting Lion
King, and saving the earth.
Again.

4. Vincent and The Doctor

I almost wanted to avoiding picking new series episode but...this one was so good.
It's an episode full my own love and biasness.
I mean, companion Amy gets to meet Vincent Van Gogh.
who of course likes her.
And it's more about a personal demon of depression than any real DW monster that we might usually get.
This was a beautiful moving story and it's...amazing. I love it so much.

3. The Empty Child/ The Doctor Dances

Eccleston was a good Doctor. And this episode. Oh. So good.
You have Rose and the London Blitz and the introduction of Captian Jack Harkness.
Easily one of my favourite characters ever.
An sonic-y things and a banana!
And you know the best part of the episode right?
The Doctor said it himself.

"Everybody lives!"

2. The Girl In The Fireplace

Such a good episode.
I mean, first off, we get Mickey to com join Team TARDIS. which we all know makes Rose happy (even though she and The Doctor are well..inlovewitheachother. What? We all know it.)
And historical figure! Madame Du Pompadour.
And bananas. again.
Yes, I have some things in common with the Doctor. A love of bananas.

and and and, the Doctor gets snogged.
And don't we all just love it when The Doctor gets snogged?
oh yes.

Now, disclaimer.
Im not saying this next episode is my favourite one ever. That any of these are. Because there is so much good.
This is me looking at a list of the episodes and going oh yea.
that one was brilliant. fantastic.
so. here's my last one.

1. Silence in the Library/ Forest of the Dead

Yes, I like two-parts. How'd you figure that out?
Heh.

So. Epicness in this one really.
You have Companion/Best Friend Donna.
A world that is basically a library.
And introduction of... River Song.
and oh yea. A monster killing team members that none of us can see.
GO.

This one actually honestly freaked me out.
I have a love hate relationship with River because...great character honestly.
But its like...she's slowing going to unravel the mystery of who The Doctor is and ..eh. I like my Doctor mysterious thanks very much.
And Donna.
Donna is awesome and amazing. And it makes me sad that she lost her perfect man in this.
But The Doctor figures it...mostly out in the end.
And its just...so so good.

(I honestly did not mean to leave out Series 3 and Martha in all this. I love Martha. She's amazing. Just felt that disclaimer needed top be added.)
And so that's that.

And I leave you...with advice.

..or at least his TARDIS.

Doctor Who Meme. Day 2. Your Favorite Classic Series Episode

2010-09-03T00:47:00.000-07:00

Hi.
I know I'm late on my post today.

Unless I'm on like...Alaskan/Hawaiian time.
Then Im getting it done just in time.

BUT ANYWAYS.

My Favourite classic series Episode?

I don't have one.
Because I've honestly only seen Series 1-5.
Once I finished all those I started watching Torchwood.
heh.

ALTHOUGH.
There is this mini-episode with 5 and 10 and that is supposed to between Series 3 and 4.
It's not spoilery and I love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7boeBf5pbQ

Doctor Who Meme. Day 1. Favourite Qoute.

2010-09-01T15:59:00.000-07:00

So today starts my 30 day thing!

Favourite Doctor Who quote.
I'm just gonna post multiple cause choosing just one??

Psh. Please...

The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to rescue her! I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I'm going to save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek: BUT-YOU-HAVE-NO-WEAPONS! NO-DE-FEN-SES! NO-PLAN!
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor and you're in the biggest library in the universe. Look me up.

The Doctor: These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than-- no, hold on...(pauses, thinking) Sorry, that's 'The Lion King'. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!
-HE FREAKIN QUOTES LION KING PEOPLE.

The Doctor: You want weapons? We're in a library. Books! Best weapons in the world. (He puts his glasses on.) This room's the greatest arsenal we could have. Arm yourself.

The Doctor: Just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry about it. Everyone has nightmares. Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster?
Young Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The Doctor: Me, ha!

The Doctor: There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection, I'm in orbit around a super nova. (laughs softly) I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye.
-The sweetest thing the Doctor's ever done. I swear. I want a boy to burn up a sun for me!

The Doctor: Books! People never really stop loving books. 51st century. By now you've got holovids, direct to brain downloads, fiction mist, but you need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath. The Library. So big it doesn't need a name. Just a great big "the." ...It's a world. Literally a world. The whole core of the planet is the index computer, biggest hard drive ever. And up here, every book ever written. Whole continents of Jeffrey Archer, Bridget Jones, Monty Python's Big Red Book. Brand new editions, specially printed. We're near the equator, so... (he licks his finger then lifts it up to feel the wind) this must be Biographies! I love biographies!
-Yes I have slight love of the Doctor and his love of libraries and books.

Donna: Who are you?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. You?
Donna: Donna.
The Doctor: (looks her up and down) Human?
Donna: Yeah. Is that optional?
The Doctor: Well, it is for me.

Shakespeare: This is just a theatre.
The Doctor: Oh, but a theatre’s magic, isn’t it? You should know. Stand on this stage, say the right words with the right emphasis a the right time... Oh, you can make men weep, or cry with joy, change them. You can change people’s minds just with words in this place. And if you exaggerate that...

The Doctor: I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you. Tried of watching everything turn to dust. (squats beside Lazarus) If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you end up alone.
Lazarus: That’s a price worth paying.
The Doctor: Is it?

Captain Jack: All the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.
The Doctor: (musing) Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was, it was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of Time and Space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad. (beat) Oh, I dunno.
Martha: What about you?
The Doctor: Oh, the ones that ran away! I never stopped.

Amy Pond: Something old, something new, something borrowed... something blue.

Rory: [Watching the TARDIS appear] It's the Doctor! How could we forget the Doctor?
[Fading into the background as Amy climbs over the table and walks to the TARDIS]
Rory: I was plastic... He was a stripper at my stag... Long story.
Amy Pond: [Knocking on the door of the TARDIS] OK Doctor, did I surprise you this time?
The Doctor: [Opening the door wearing a formal morning suit] Eh, yeah, completly astonished. Never expected that!

The Doctor: Amy, only one thought, one simple instruction: don't follow me under any circumstances.
[Runs off]
Amy Pond: I won't.
Vincent Van Gogh: Will you follow him?
Amy Pond: Of course.
Vincent Van Gogh: I love you.
-This may have been my favourite episode ever.

The Doctor: The last time, with Martha, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna Noble: You just want to mate?
The Doctor: I just want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: You're not matin' with me Sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: Well, just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you're just a long streak of nothing, y'know, alien nothing!
*cackles*
That always makes me laugh.

Okay. 15 quotes is like..good enough for the day.
Right?

I could do 15 an hour. Honestly.

anyways.
OH.
2 MORE THINGS.
Mostly cause I dont wanna make another blog post.

I want this shirt. Closer up images of it here.

AND AND AND.
Zoe Keating is finally going to be doing a concert near me in October. I might die.
So excited.

Free concert and what Q-Tips really are.

2010-08-31T22:30:00.000-07:00

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” ~Groucho Marx

Today was fairly low key.
I paid some school fees, bought a textbook (okay my mom paid for this. THANKS MOM), and then downloaded things.

And my best friend T (yes, I am going to refer to him as T) texted me.
One of our favourite bands, Apocalyptica, had a concert in St. Louis tonight and it was to be streamed live online.
For free.

So tonight, I got to spend an hour watching them perform and squeeing over their cellos and hair. (and tattoos...)

Other than that? I got nothing.
Wanted to get in one last post for August.

OH. Here.
9 bits of Q-tip trivia and a question.
1. Q-tips were invented by Leo Gerstenzang in the 1920′s.
2. He started the “Leo Gerstenzang Infant Novelty Company” to sell his new product…
6. Eventually Gerstenzang changed the name to “Q-tip Baby Gays.”
7. The Q stands for quality, which is a pretty boring explanation, if you ask me.
8. He later dropped the “Baby Gays.”
Now, one question:
Can you think of any other product that says on the packaging to not use it in the way that most everybody will?

I mean. Seriously now. We all do it.

I like baseball, yes I do.

2010-08-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

Holy Shmokes its almost September.

I'm glad Ive got a few of you excited for this thing I'm starting on Wed.
I think it's gonna be pretty awesome.

I wanted to write a post about the baseball game I went to on Thursday.
And post my pictures.

But I'm too lame and busy to actually get my pictures uploaded. (I know, I know!)

And even though we lost, it was a good game.
I mean..we had a grand slam. Pretty frickin awesome.

And besides, Padres are still #1 in the league right now.

I smell World Series....

There's something in the water...

2010-08-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

"..that makes me love you like I do"
Currently: freaking ecstatic

So, this week, in short, was kind of hellish.
I had my classes 90% figured out last week and was hoping on good things.
It all fell apart Monday.
And right up until this morning, it's been a slow decline.

So I came back home from trying to crash a class and "napped"
Napping turned into staying curled up in bed all day.
Sign of my week? Maybe.

But I woke up..checked my e-mail...and it's all worked out.
Thank you God.

I have all the credits I need and there are no waiting lists and YAY.

So this weekend I'll start making schedules for myself for the semester and such and Ima make one for this blog.

But since I've been such a lamo at writing this month, I had an idea.

Im going to do a 30 day challenge type thing.
A meme.
A month of...Doctor Who.

So starting on Sept. So ... Wed? Yea.

Alrighty boys and girls. Be excited.
I am.

Life is good. Hope is good. Prayers work.

Go if you want to go

2010-08-26T00:39:00.000-07:00

Currently: playing Go - Manchester Orchestra
Even though I still use it and check on it, I've decided I really don't like Formspring.

I mean.
Okay, pointless surveys and questions are fine.
Esp back when you answered 50 of them and then just posted it on myspace for 10 your friends to fill out when they couldn't sleep that weekend.

But formspring?
Okay, most people I know on there are nice, but I've seen some friends get called ugly stuff for not answering a question simply cause they didn't want to.
Uhm...excuse me?

So..so dumb.

Heh.

That's all I really had.
I should update on my life but it's too full and busy to really have time to outline...everything.

I'll figure it our soon enough.

...right?

and plans go BOOM.

2010-08-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

I don't mean for this to be a venting, angry blog I don't.
Mostly because I can't make mine funny like Amylynne's.

But anyways.
Today was...is...ugh.
If not the worst day ever for me...it's been a big strong contender for the position.
It's at least been the worst day in a long while.

Im too frustrated to get details down but it's mainly to do with school and classes and not being able to take them.
It's like I was telling my mom.
I had this semester figured out. Totally figured out.
And then everything just kind of..fell apart the closer it got.

And I can't do anything about it.
It sucks.
And Im trying to be calm and just pray and let God handle it but I really don't get where my life is going right now.

I made plans and they erupted. But I can't move forward with my life and out of where I am with without at least plans.
I am deeply confused and annoyed.

Oi vey.

The beast is NOT soothed.

2010-07-31T16:03:00.000-07:00

"Music soothes the savage beast"

Music=my mix of classical (Bach, Tchaikovsky, Cello stuff, Quartet stuff) and cello stuff (Zoe Keating, Unwoman, Apocalyptica)

The savage beast=my headache.

Except it isn't "sooth"-ing it. Ugh.

So, I know I havent written in a while. And that's why I am.

Im going through another weird time where I've mostly wanted to keep to myself and figure some things (emotions) out.

But I also wanted to talk about changes to my blog.
Yes, thats right.

I am going to try and start doing weekly posts.
Like every week, I find collections of tweets and quotes and pics and songs I like.
So one day every week I'll do a post of quotes and tweets and such. Mostly found from twitter other blogs, facebook, etc.

And then another post every week will be music-themed. Like I dunno, what I like best at the moment or whatever. Just, as my blog says it is, the ramblings of a music nerd.

I want to do more, like maybe what books im reading or whatever, but i can't decide.
So I want's your input. I don't care if you've read this one time, ten time, or 100 times, give me input. Seriously.

Oh yea. And changes to the blog itself. I've added things to side and such and then you can click buttons that say you like or hate my post or whatever.
I would love it if people would like y'know..comment..or hit the like button or whatever.
I like input and comments.
They are great.
Seriously, they are.

That's...mostly it. I expect you all to have a brain and figure out whats going on here.
LOVE YOU.

Okay.IneedtogochopoffapartofmyheadnowBYE.

musicians paint in silence

2010-07-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

All I can do, if I feel this way, is trust that somewhere in the universe, there's a you that feels the same.

"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence." -- Leopold Stokowski

Sometimes I touch the things you used to touch, looking for echoes of your fingers

What indeed can we imagine heaven to be but unimpeded obedience - C.S. Lewis

All persons entering a heart do so at their own risk

To wake up next to you. And confirm that the images I saw on the back of my eyelids seconds before, have all been made real.

You will hear it and no one else will, like your soul wears headphones and only it can hear the music

You might not always like me, the things I do or the way I do them. But these are my things, this is the way I do them and I am me

That’s why love is madness. It’s too easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart.

“I write to understand as much as to be understood.” – elie wiesel

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." ~ Anonymous

Love won't suddenly make every day ok. It won't change who you are. All love is, is love. And that's all it needs to be

I spend most of my nights outside, looking for ways to make you smile

“Not all who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

"God cannot be found in noise and restlessness... We need silence to be able to touch souls." -Mother Teresa

"Whoso loves believes the impossible." -Elizabeth B. Browning,

Fine. Maybe I'm the puzzle. But you're still the pieces

All I can clearly remember is not a picture but a feeling.

Don't talk to me like you know me. Talk to me like you love me.

Late at night, when I am away from you, you are all I think about. And sometimes, even when I'm with you. I love you. So much.

"The world hurts. We live in fear and forget to walk with hope. But hope has not forgotten you." - Libba Bray

Being gifted doesn't mean you've been given something. It means, you have something to give

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." -Elie Wiesel

You are a drop of perfect in an imperfect world. And all I need, is a taste

It felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other

But in the dark, stripped down, all that remains is you

"Love the person you are, not just the one you're trying to become"

This is where I love. In the heart of things, on the tips of waves

"In order to be heard, you must listen"

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." - Confucius

I've had enough of consuming. I want to create.

If everybody understood your dream, it wouldn't be your dream, it would be theirs. Expect some confusion from friends.

"It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time." -J.S. Bach

“...anger wearies itself out and truth comes in.” - C.S. Lewis

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."

"Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye refuses to see."–J.R.R. Tolkien

“We bring our ugliness, in both kinds, with us into the world, with it our destiny.” - C.S. Lewis

A diary is a long winded letter you write to an old person who used to be you.

I always wanted you. Even when I had you.

It's not about listening to the music. It's about getting up and dancing.

We should be listening to the silence

"The song doesn’t explain. The song witnesses.” E. Peterson

“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away.” - C.S. Lewis

I do not think the forest would be so bright, nor love so sweet, if there were no danger in the lakes - C. S. Lewis

"You've never looked at someone who doesn't matter to God'”

The pride of my heart Makes me forget, It's not me but You who makes the heart beat, I'm lost without You."

I can be Productive...sometimes.

2010-07-17T01:17:00.000-07:00

Being offline always kind of irks me.
Not that Im addicted. I regularly take breaks from being online, long weekends, a couple weeks, or limit it just down to email or such.

But most of the time, I know when it's going to happen. I admit, I plan my Farmville crops around when I'll be able to get online and actually play.
But I mean, doesnt everybody nowadays? (They're making a movie about Facebook for goodness sakes...)

But anyways. My point? MY computer at home got disconnected on Wed and it threw me into a funk.
In all honestly, I whined a lot. I wont say why cause...Ive really ranted about it about it a lot but I was just irked.

But since I was awake and had no computer or internet Wednesday night...I cleaned my room.
I did big other chores too but the biggest was cleaning my room which is something I've needed to do since...May. Maybe even April.
So what I do?
Well, Id already pulled about 80% of my clothes out my closet(they'd been on the floor so that helped)
Went through, figured what was clean and dirty, washed the dirty stuff. Then hung up folded all the clean stuff. (I used all my hangers. Exactly. I always forget how much clothes I actually have)
I moved things around in my closest as to prevent less messes in the future.
Then I dragged boxes out of my room that are full of my moms stuff and leaned and organized my book stand.
I organized my purse that I got back in May.
Took the pins and buttons and such off the old purse and put some on the new purse.
What else?
I forget.
There was a lot of trash.

I still need to vacuum and organize the book shelf but..eh.

BUT.
but.
For the first time in..years...I decided not to move the furniture around in my room.
I dunno if its the whole feeling more or home or just liking it or planning on leaving in a few months.
Or the fact that Ive had my bed in every corner and angle of my room possible.
Anyways.

Ive been working a lot. I did try to get online. Used moms laptop yesterday for like an hour but it was going sloth slow on me and i barely got through my e-mail.
Tried to use computer library today. Had an hour. Took me 45 mins to get through facebook sthuffs and then the computer froze on me. >.<
(I got a lot of books and CDs though too. :D)

But all is well now.
Home computer is working.
Just as long as I keep working and cleaning house.
And its pretty dang clean right now.

And this post is pretty dang long so I'll save my other thoughts for another day...or at least for a few hours.

Summer isnt even over yet...

2010-07-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

...and im starting to stress a little over school.

Oh yes, my school tag is back.
I can start registering for classes TODAY.
Which I should do.
Because there are a couple classes I dearly wish to take that tend to fill up really fast.

But while looking online at classes, I also looked at stuff I need to take to get my AA. All the Gen Ed "need to take" classes.

And now Im all torn.
Between what I want, and what I need.
And what I need depends on my major.

Should I stick with Gen Ed and take basic stuff? finish quickly?
Or stick on my route of figuring it out and take what interests me.
OI VEY.

I dunno my friends.
Im torn.

And I could go into how Im torn about a lot of thing sin life, how life is usually a split between wants and needs BUT its late.

I shall talk to friends/parents/counselor/God about this.

(but i always like advice. you can comment)

Its a cello case!

2010-07-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

Okay.
I stumbled across this blog today.
And they had posted this video.
Its a 21st century commercial and it always gets my attention because..well...there's a cello case in it.

Heh.

And then I got linked to this video which is just..hilarious.
"the cello, slightly bigger with a spike at the bottom that kills you"

Hey!
I have a questrion for you all.
I feel like I should do set weekly posts.
Like one day a week do a post on music, and another day do a post of quotes and the like.
Thats all I can think of right now.

Ideas? comments? thoughts? What days I should do it?
Leave a comment, let me know. :)

some poems don’t rhyme

2010-07-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

“Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it’s one day further from the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you will.”

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” ~Gilda Radner

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

You are the best parts of all the songs I love.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you- C.S.Lewis

Strip this bark. Carve a name and a heart into me. Please

A little lie is like a little pregnancy: it doesn't take long before everyone knows-C.S.Lewis

"In life, as in the dance, grace glides on blistered feet." -Alice Abrams

Your true soul is not a means to an end. The legacy of love will remain; these are the stories that stand the test of time -Jon Foreman

Celloly Nerdness. (And some other music too)

2010-07-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Okay. Lets Start July off right.
With a post about music. Mostly cello stuffs too.

First off. A musician Ive fallen in love with. Zoe Keating.
Her new album is out and I love it. I have no money to get my hands on it yet but...soon.
Meanwhile its streaming free here.

Now, chances are, I already posted about this. BUT.
Here's the amazing thing about this woman. Not only did she come out with a new album, but she had a baby last month. (if you follow her on twitter, it is the the most beautiful baby)
But. Her new album? Debuted on Billboard Classical albums at #7.
#7.
With "No marketing, no publicity: just digital dwnlds"
And you people question me saying she's good. She really is!!!

ALRIGHT.
Next. Another cellist.
That I just found yesterday.
Gordon Withers.
Yet ANOTHER cellist (Unwoman) re twittered that any cellist who messaged him on twitter got his new album for free.

How. could. I. resist?
and its so good. (streaming free here)
Its good.

(Speaking of Unwoman, I got a poster from her for free. I haven't put it up yet but - cool, right?)

Okay next.
Yet another new cellist Ive found.
Not necessarily her music but her blog and book.
Emily Wright. She wrote this book.
"A Modern Cellist's Manual: Technique, Approach and Musings"
"A very different sort of cello method, A Modern Cellist's Manual combines technical information and plenty of photographs with advice on approach. Topics addressed range from the basics of a painless bow grip to injury avoidance, working with a metronome, and tenor clef. Emily's tone and sense of humor lighten the mood of any practice session. A Modern Cellist's Manual is suitable for those taking private lessons as well as returning cellists looking to bolster rusty technique."

I waaaannnntttttt.

NNNEEXXXXXXTTTTT.
A story.
Keith Tutt is a cellist. He also has solo msuic where he sings and plays guitar but I know him as cellist for Switchfoot.
And an incredibly nice guy who always remembers me. (I think its the whole introducing myself as playing cello too...)
But I saw him at the bro-Am and he remembered me. Was so nice about it too. Told me how he's working on solo stuff and wants to play bro-am by himself next year.
YES PLEASE.

I also had the really random thought about him and me sitting around talking about cello stuff all day.
Oh I would love it. And then have him teach me the cello parts to switchfoot songs.
Hehehehe.

I feel like Im getting off track now. There was something else I wanted to post.
Was it about me and the music I downloaded to start playing and practicing? Or how I bought a coldplay album yesterday?
Or that Dustin Ruth album I finally listened to and feel in love with?

Maybe I should just do a weekly music post so I dont bombard you all with all this. heheheh.
That is all.

Celloly yours,
Amy

It really isn't THAT complicated.

2010-06-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

I was browsing around online and between finding and getting more cello music and squeeing over Doctor Who finale things, I kept stumbling across people's facebooks and seeing that relationship status.
"Its complicated"

And...I had to laugh.
Which is probably mean of me. I mean, my own relationship is complicated in its own various ways.

But..thats the point, all of our relationships, even our non-romantic ones, are complicated in one form or another.

Do we all just walk around going "oh. its complicated. you wouldnt get it". NO.

But it just makes me laugh because...life is so..simple.
Really.
We live. we love.
The whole point of life is to love and serve God and thats just so simple.

The way god designed it.
But we are SO human and we just..complicate things.
Oh yes, its us who mess it all up.

But my real point? You relationship is not THAT complicated.
At least...no more than anybody else's.

Maybe its a just a combination o us saying friends are our siblings and jokingly being married to one of them or something.
Maybe its just laziness.

But its something that irks me because..we're the one's who complicate it.

Most things in life are so easy and simple and we just assume something or do something one way or the other and things just get...complicated.
Oh that word.

Okay Im done now.

(And now to about boyfriend and I. Probably in a way that isnt right since I should tell people in person. OH WELLS. Its complicated because we're long distance and met online originally. But I dont focus on that. We've meet in person and work hard at staying together. I only focus on that fact that we are together and are good together and love each other. SO THERE.)

Oi vey.

2010-06-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

I have been saying Oi.
A lot.

And while at first I thought it was from talking to certain friends, I also realized it couldv'e been from watching Doctor Who.

But honestly, esp this morning, I had multiple Oi moments.

First off.
I got sunburned at the Bro-Am Saturday. Nothing I havent dealt with before but it hurts and its just..bleh.
My mom was putting aloe/burn stuff on me this morning and shes all "oh no. there are blisters. this is third degree sunburn"
OI.

Cause thats JUST what I wanted to hear.

Next:
My friend procrastinated on buying tickets for Comic-Con or finding a way to get in for free.
And more tickets were posted today but he had work and was calling me, having me sit here and trying to figure it out.
I could not figure it out.
I was looking at wrong things and then it said it was sold out and just...
Oi.

In the end, I was able to buy his pass for it and all but..Oi oi.

And THEN.
Anberlin has an album coming out in September.
They posted a new song/video early today on twitter.
And the twitvid wouldnt work for me.
I think I was literally saying "OI!" to the computer every five minutes.

In the end, yes it got resolved. The thing finally let me login and watch it and then someone was nice enough to post it on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of9U3aGUyvU

so, in short.
My new favorite word is Oi.
and while a lot of things this morning started out frustrating and bad..some good has come back with it.

Well...not the sunburn. not yet. It should tan over soon.

Whats your favorite word?

What I have been doing, What I am going to do

2010-06-23T15:35:00.000-07:00

I know I havent been here lately much.

Ive been busy.

But Ive been having fun.

And in the past, these fun times and stories that I have tot tell would be written here.
But now...now they are stories to be told in person, to be written in letters and books, to be passed on word of mouth.

I guess Im taking the same route that Anne Jackson is taking.
Be quiet.

Contemplating a lot on my own life and seeing how its changing, where its going exactly.

Because honestly, it feels like its changing route every week now.

Part of me wishes I knew where I'll be in the few months of my life, where I'm headed...

..but I also like the flexibility and unexpectedness of it.
I am completely trusting God lately.
Doing what I know in my heart is right.
Doing my best to follow what I should be doing.

BUT.
I will tell you what Im doing this weekend.
Switchfoot is playing at the Del Mar Fair tomorrow and then they have their Bro-Am on Saturday.
I work the merch tomorrow.

Y'all should follow twitter.com/SwitchfootBroAm for the weekends events.
(cause there is also and Auction on Friday and afterparty later on Saturday)

Course. There is always on my own twitter account too. :D

My stomach is...

2010-06-17T15:23:00.001-07:00

Thank goodness I know what foods I can keep down when Im feeling sick.

Taking an easy day. Not really eating and resting and then off to college group where I think..I think..we're going laser tagging.
I think.

It was bowling earlier and im really easily confused.

Life Inspires me.

2010-06-15T22:38:00.001-07:00

Im going to the beach tomorrow.
:D
Again.

But for now. Enjoying some tweets/quotes Ive been collecting.
Oh, I also changed the layour on blog. ISNT IT PRETTY?????

"Do you not know that our soul is composed of harmony?" -Leonardo da Vinci

"My heart is in motion for the rhythm inside you"

"I think of myself as more of a lover rather than a fighter, but sometimes you have to fight for what you love." - Jon Foreman.

Long live the dark horses.

"It's a strange consolation - In our dizzy and breathless race for happiness, to find that you will never outrun the horizon."

Love helps to make us generous and courageous, it
opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty - C.S.Lewis

I thought I had more.
But thats it for now.

2010-06-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

“It’s when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight. It’s when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who really knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment.
It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me.”
From here.

“You are in some songs that still get played on the radio when the DJ is feeling nostalgic.
You are in a book you once lent me (never returned) with yellowed pages.
You are in trees when I touch them, even ones without names carved into them.
You are in the way someone on the street laughs as I pass them.
You are in a box I keep filled with letters.
You are in a ring I no longer wear.
And, every day, you each get a moment to haunt me.” ~I Wrote This For You
Here.

Home is a concept.

2010-06-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

I think for every thousands of people that want out of where they are and into California,
there is at least one Californian who wants out.

I am that Californian.

I cant even really explain it.
Not in ways that make sense.

It could always be as simple as I've been in the same city since I was 3, the same county my entire life, I have that traveling itch, that wanderlust, and just...out.

And that I spent three weeks away from home. Two in Ohio with a best friend and family and one week kind of close to home with my boyfriend.

The more time I spend away from home, the less I miss it.
The less it becomes home in my heart.

Only in Church or near the ocean or in the rain or while flying do I feel home.
When Im close to God.
In my own personal way.

This is not to say I dont love my life.
I do. I have a great life. And Ive had great experiences. Both here and many other places.

But my life is changing and I know that my home will change with that.
To where and when I dont know yet. I just do know that it will.

Greetings from Ohio.

2010-05-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

A week ago at this time I was waiting on my plane to fly out of San Diego.

Now Im in Dayton, Ohio and have already seen rain thunder and lighting and sun all in the span of one week.

Friday was flying from San Diego to St. Louis, where I ate my packed dinner, talked to some strangers about life while our plane got delayed two hours.

Finally flew from St.Louis to Columbus, flying through big huge dark clouds with lighting going on outside the plane window.
So reassuring

Heh. Was fun though.
MY aunt and cousin picked me up and I spent the night at my family's house before my friend picked me up in the morning and we we went to rock On The range.
I'll make a separate post for the review of the that BUT I saw the following bands:

Saturday:
Sevendust
Drowning Pool
Puddle of Mudd
Papa Roach
Skillet (barely. scary moshpit)
Killswitch Engage (very scary moshpit)
Rise Against
Three Days Grace
Godsmack
Sunday:
(Didnt see Apocalyptica but heard them as we were walking into the venue. dang that sleeping in),
Five Finger Death Punch,
Anberlin (^_^)
Slash
Seether
Rob Zombie
Limp Bizkit

It was a fun two days.
Even though I dont listen to most of these bands actively, its still fun to say yea I saw these guys live.
Some of the shows they put on were just really freaking good.
That and getting to hang out with my best friend and talk all weekend about...everything.

Since then?
Well
Monday
we....went to the library and checked out movies. watched one. dinner. watched another.
and then i forget. we kept staying up late talking.
Tuesday
Tom had work so I used his computer to do my last paper of the semester and get all that turned in before he came home and talked more and watched another movie.
Wed
Watched movie. headed back to library to return movie and check out a couple more then Tom went to work and i did more schoolish stuff. then he came home and..movie and talking again. essentially.
Thurs.
Pretty much the same. again. Cept from like 6-9 my aunt to me to her Mary Kay meeting and I got a little free makeover on my face and a prize cause I was a guest. :D
Friday (Today)
Went to library, bank, ad then a wal-mart like store to pick up things.
ate lunch.
And now Tom's at work and im debating what to do online.
Im more tempted to go outside and take ten million pictures.

Its so so nice here.

Like. There was a thunderstorm here yesterday and it just sealed the deal of me not wanting to leave.
Sooo nice here. I swear.
Well. Thats all for now.

More in the coming days.

15 hours...

2010-05-20T22:59:00.000-07:00

15 more hours and I'll be on a plane to Ohio.
Well, St.Louis, which there I will get on a plane to Ohio.

And there's so much to do.

It's gonna be a long day folks.

I'm on an ADVENTURE!

2010-05-17T12:47:00.000-07:00

(going to write and post this in less then 5 mins. no editing. GO)

I am going on an adventure.
Im going to Ohio on Friday for two weeks.
To go see a festival concert with a friend. And staying to see and hang with him and my family.

But before then?
FINALS.
Ive got 3 finals to take, 2 more tests to take, 3 papers to turn in, one more homework for math, and i might squeeze in a couple old assignments.
AND a few hours at the gym working out.

yay go me.

So. if im not online or seem absent or whatever. Thats why.

I love you. leave some comments or talk in the chat box. :D

Family history is so interesting. So personal.

2010-05-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

Currently: getting sidetracked from my homework.

So. I have to write this art paper.
I have to research my family background and where and what culture it came from.
(This is art class so I get to relate the cultures art to it.)
but I cant go off of "Well..we think we're related to this person and I vaquely know i came from here".
No.
I have to go off concrete stuff.

I got lucky with my dad's side. Someone in the family ages ago made this huge history going back 9 generations to this couple who lived in Alsace.
Thats right. Im french. (My dad would fight this. It *was* Germany at the time)
Its such an interesting history.
You have this couple in Alsace in 1736 and then there son and his family migrates to Russia.
Two generations later, the Heintz's are in North Dakota farming.
There's even a small blip of them being in Canada. (EH.)
And then. Finally. In the 1920's, they settle in Oregon.
And stay there.

And my grandpa meets my grandma (who has a similar family history being German and living in Oregon and all) and he adopts my dad (my grandma was previously married) and then my dad comes to Cali and here I am.

I swear. Its all a lot more interesting with wars and such in the same timeline but its like..what if they hadnt moved certain places at certain times.
Where would I be?
Where would any of my family be.

My moms side is harder to know.
I know my grandparents were in Washington and that they themselves had very interesting lives and that if you go back enough generations we are somehow related to Mark Twain and the two Harrison Presidents.
Exactly how..no idea.

But still.

I know most of you wont care but I just found it so so interesting.
Our past makes us who we are.

Happy Mothers Day - a video, a poem, and a picture.

2010-05-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmecyCCdknk&feature=player_embedded

This next video is more for my own mom.

Q&A from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

http://vimeo.com/11305685

And finally. A mothers day poem I wrote a year ago. It was printed out on bookmarks and passed around my church to a bunch of moms and I never shared it farther than that.

I love my mom. I love a lot of moms.
Happy Mothers Day all.

I want to celebrate the Moms
in my life.
We all do ~ the
children you've loved.
Not just today,
but every single day.
Because as much as we all
whine and moan over how
you act, we love who you are.
As much as we hate your
looks at our taste in clothes,
we are glad you wash them
for us.
Much as we dislike green
veggies or fish, we are glad
you slave in the kitchen
cooking for us.
Every single day, we may not
like how much of a mom you
can be, But we will always
love how much of a mom you
are to us.
Because you follow Eve and
Naomi and Mary, become
Proverbs 31,
Because your love extends
past those with your own
blood and name,
Because you are the only ones
beside God we let look at our
bruised and broken hearts,
and because you have the
motherly love to help heal
them,
We Love You.
Happy Mothers Day,
every day.
May God bless you, for all
the caring and love you put in
this world.

P.S.

I cry too much and too easily.

2010-05-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

Currently: home alone. chyeas.

Maybe it's a girl but I've been crying a lot this week. Esp with some of my favorite TV shows.

Now, I love my boardies and twitter and that we have full on convos about Lost and Glee and such on there but my thought dont fit into 140 characters.
So you get a full blog on it.

This is probably going to have spoilers if you havent watched some of these, esp the latest episodes. Read at you own risk.

LOST.

This show is sad in itself right. It's the last season and as much as we want to know why and what the Island is, its sad to see your favorite characters go.
And this past weeks episode was just. ouch.
Lost some of the best and favorite characters. Even the other characters were crying.

GLEE
I love this show.
I didnt think I would. It looked stupid at first, with its high school ness, but my mom started watching it and I got sucked. for me its the music of the show. And the one liners.
And this past week...

WELL.
It was "Bad Reputation" which meant not only Bad reps for the characters but songs that have bad songs. Songs that are good because they are bad. Which makes me love them and have them getting stuck in my head all week long.
This is just a fun show. I really do love it.
But as funny as it is, there are hard heartbreaking moments that make you cry. And I was really bipolar watching it, going between laughing right outloud and crying right with the characters.
(Spoiler: I dont believe Jesse. At all. Dont judge me..I just dont. Artie and Kurt on the other hand? :D :wub:)

And lastly..my newest obsession/fandom...

DOCTOR WHO
I don't know how I wasn't watching this sooner. A time lord who travels with bananas? HECK YES I'LL WATCH IT.
Heh. I go between watching the newest episodes when I get my hands on them and going back on watching season 1 with Eccleston as the Doctor. (Im saving all the 60s/70s/80s classic Doctors for way later on when I have time.)
And even though the Doctor doesn't die, seeing Eccleston go at the end was sad. You get this whole funny great season of him and rose and then the Doctor regenerates.
Not that Im complaining. I love Tennant. I've got a crush. It's still a bit sad though.
Also. John Barrowman? HECK PLEASE YES. Eeep.

Oh. And as for the newest Doctor. He's good. But I've got a girl crush on the companion. Could be something to do with her name. *cackles*

And I think that's all really.
I love these shows-even if they make cry like a girl.
Which I am.
Its just...
Oh nevermind.
You should get my point.

"Has it changed you?"

2010-05-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

Currently: spinning Hello Hurricane on shuffle and repeat. ^_^

So, while I've essentially given up on formspring, someone id ask me a question I really liked.

How has playing the cello changed you? Not just your life, but you as a person?

It has. When I was four I wanted to be singer but that changed when I was 11 and started playing. I love being a musician more. I love that an instrument can be my voice.

And for anybody who asked (or cared. (even if you didn't)) the paper I wrote the I wrote about in my last post- It was for my health class.
It was a lifestyle change paper and I was supposed to start playing my cello regularly again. While that didn't exactly happen, I still got to write a lot about music and cellos in my paper.
Twas fun.

References.Quotes.

2010-05-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

I had to write this huge paper for my health class and found really cool quotes.
So I'm sharing those references (everything on my bibliography page) with you.

I know. You're so excited.:D

Well first off, I managed to reference Jon Foreman's Mercy's War and the article he wrote for Huffington post over the weekend. Which I recommended in my last blog post.

Next.
This video. A comedian ranting about Pachelbel. Why? Because cellist's get the lamest parts in Pachelbel songs.

I talked about Zoe Keating briefly. Yes, I've recommended her before. Now go download this free song by her.

And lastly. I really really like quotes.

“Music is a beautiful opiate, if you don't take it too seriously.”
-Henry Miller.

“The most perfect technique is that which is not noticed at all.”
- Pablo Casals

“Cello players, like other great athletes, must keep their fingers exercised.”
- Julian Lloyd Webber

“The cello is like a beautiful woman who has not grown older, but younger with time, more slender, more supple, more graceful.”
-Pablo Casal

“Music isn't just learning notes and playing them, You learn notes to play to the music of your soul.”
- Katie Greenwood

I had a lot more references of technical stuff but this all I wanted to share. Hope you enjoyed!

(And if you can't figure out what my paper was about..even generally..really?!?!?!??)

2 Videos, 1 song, 1 article, 1 hour.

2010-05-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

I want share stuff with you guys.
(Im embedding videos so if you're reading this on facebook it might look odd. Go here.)

First video:
Jon Acuff posted this on Stuff Christians Like and I loved it.
Its a video of the author of Eat, Love, Pray talking about creativity and maybe it's just the song writer in me, but I love how she describes it. Its 20 mins long but so worth watching. Or even just playing in the background.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA&feature=player_embedded

Video 2:
This is a video of Jon Acuff.
Ive recommended his blog before and would recommend the book if I had but here he is speaking at a church in LA a week or two back.
Its 4o mins long but again-worth it. Watch it, or just play in the background. so good.
http://vimeo.com/11142740

Be Sick, Be Loved from Foundry LA on Vimeo.

"Be Sick, Be Loved"

by Jonathan Acuff :: 04.20.10 :

Jonathan is the author of the book & blog "Stuff Christians Like". Does the stuff we like, ever get in the way of the God we love? :: FoundryLA.org

And lastly. A song by Jonathan Foreman.
I forget if I've shared it before but it came on my mp3 while walking to church tonight and I put it on repeat. I had it playing in my head while I prayed for ten mi9nutes in silence.
I listen to it and make up a cello part in my head.
No for reals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UME9VrqicdE

And also. Jon wrote another piece for the huffington post.
Its about heroes, one namely: Joan of arc. Its my favorite by far. Go read it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jon-foreman/the-dark-horse-joan-of-ar_b_558967.html
"The Dark Horse: Joan of Arc, Elliot Smith and Me"
"I raise my voice to the dark horses -- cry enormous tears, my friends! Suffer enormous defeats! Challenge Michael Jordan to a game. Give him a wink and throw him off guard. Yes, you are the underdog. But your fate does not rest in your circumstance but rather in your shameless expectancy, your cocky conviction, your unblushing expectancy."

Life without...cats.

2010-04-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

(This is more or less a continuation of my last post.)

Last time after I wrote, I went to bed with kittens sleeping next to me. I curled up on the foot of my bed with a pillow and blanket.

When I woke up the mom was eating so I leaned over and counted the kittens.
9.
Nine kittens.
(That is a large litter for even a cat.)

The rest of day was spent normally with every member of family occasionally peaking into my room to see them.
I felt strange.
My heart was hurting over my own cat being lost.
But it was healing because of those births. Of the business of dealing with it.

But here's the thing. They weren't our cats.

As it is in apartment complexes, we got word around that the litter was born. That very night the owner came by.
I gently put them in a box and handed the cat and her litter over.
I was sad to see them go. Very sad.

But at the same time..there was so much relief on the owners face, it made me slightly happy. Because I know how it feels to not know where or how my own is doing.

That's the story.

Here's the update.

I will be getting a cat. Actually, my mom has kind of decided that maybe we'll get two cats once the kittens are weened off.
Having two together would give them someone to play with and maybe want to be inside more.
My mom and I also decided that we'd get them fixed right away and train them to be indoor cats. (I am not going through this fear again.)

If you're reading this and wondered about getting one of kittens-its a really good chance I can still get you one.
I mean...9 kittens. Just make sure you let me know and by the time they're weened I can probably get one to you. :)

Other than that. Life is normal again.
But its strange not having a cat.

Except for my 6th and 7th grade years-Ive always had a cat. Whether it was ours or a neighbor cat that visited frequently.
So this the first time in a while I haven't had a live furry animal to pet.

My dad and I talk about how we miss him. How you get so used to waking up to a meow or something that just sometimes you hear it in your mind.

I might sound like a cat lady-but I keep dreaming about my cat.
I think I'm finally coming to peace that he's..gone.
Its hard to think and admit but I know it'll be okay.

Hearts break..everyday. Over a lot of things.
Not just a boy or a girl.

But hearts are reformed and put together again every day too.

They are made stronger.

I know I know I know there is a reason for this.
I know there is.

Maybe I just needed to be sad and broken more a while. Its the only way I can be stronger than I already am.

My heart.

2010-04-24T03:29:00.000-07:00

My cat went missing.
Hasn't been home since last Monday.

And until the other night I was fine. Then a thunderstorm blew through and my heart broke.
Some of you may not care, as it is just..a cat
But he was my cat. My baby. This furry black and white thing Ive had since he was born, who acted almost exactly like me.

My heart is breaking. I do not want to accept the truth that he might be gone forever.

But in a truly unexpected way, it is also healing.

This has been one of weeks where my heart is truly shone, where I cry at everything, where I am in just wonder and awe at God's power and how he works through everything.

My cat had a girlfriend.
This black and white cat who roamed the apartment complex.
She got pregnant. Considering she hung out with might cat, we figured it was his doing.

She's been coming to visit us more and more.

Today, she didn't leave our house.
Around 6 pm she went into labor.

And now, at 3:30 am, she is curled up on my bed with 7 newborn kittens.

I saw these kittens being born.

The miracle of birth is astonishing. Whether its a human, chicken, or cat. Its simply amazing.

My heart is healing.

My heart is breaking and healing because of the truth. Because of love, because of God.

And I realize, I know, that sometimes we have to be broken more to heal properly, to work better.

But as astonishing as this truth is, it still hurts.

I know I'll be fine. But now I am in a wandering state of mind.
Broken and healed.
Love.
And with God.

always.

Always with God.

And this post my friends..this is me being fully honest about things. No editing.
No going back and retyping my sentences.

I think it took my heart being more exposed for my truth to shine a little bit brighter.

"Stand up! Stand up!"

2010-04-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

On Sundays I tend to miss service from helping with kids church and teaching.

But those lessons and sermons are great.

Sometimes I get lucky and get to talk about some of my favorite stuff.

Like last week was Romans 5:8
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

And this week (tomorrow) ?

Well. I'll let you figure it out. :D

Video 1
Video 2

Video 3

And because Ive been listening to silly songs all week. And it does go with this particular "lesson" on the video.
Video 4

:D

Just my undivided honesty

2010-04-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

I posed this song last night.

I really do love the song. Its a love song really, and that's part of it. But I couldn't stop singing it and realized it was almost a worship song? almost??

In a really kind of..alternative way.

Anyways.

Another friend posted this article about the album the song is on.

A Tour Guide to Anberlin’s CITIES

Dismantle.Repair.

This is, without a doubt, the essential Anberlin song (a title only truly challenged by Readyfuels). I remember my excitement for this song building from the moment I first heard a clip of it on the absolutely incredible teaser trailer for Cities. The morning they posted the whole song online, I got up early before school and listened to it several times in a row on Purevolume, and it instantly became my favorite Anberlin song. I love the fake-outs – the build-up at the end of the first verse that skips the chorus and barrels right into the second verse makes the chorus infinitely more powerful when it finally hits, as does the fake ending after the bridge. I think the lyrics are some of the best that Stephen has ever written, and the introduction of the “patron saint of lost causes” theme brilliantly paves the way for what’s to come with (*Fin). I could gush about this song all day. Its inspiration is Stephen at perhaps his most vulnerable, making this song the best proof that the heart-on-sleeve, “guinea pig experiment” of exposing his inner demons through the lyrics of Cities was one of the most successful and rewarding risks Anberlin have ever taken.

Here is a link to the blog entry that eventually inspired Stephen to write this song, after someone in the comments said it was “great song writing material.” One of the most important single-sentence blog comments ever?

STEPHEN SAYS: “It’s a story about me and one person, but these are several actual characters combined, in real life. It’s about how absolutely crushing words can be. They have the power of life and death. They’re the small rudder of a ship, but they steer it wherever it goes.” ^[2]

“If you told your children, for the rest of their life, how horrible they are, they’re no good, they’ll never make it to college, they’ll never be anything, they’re worthless – you, literally, with your words, could change and devastate their lives. Or you can go home and tell them how proud you are, and how beautiful they are, and tell your wife how good she is. Do you understand how powerful that is? That’s what the song is about – words, and the words that are played into your life, and the words that you play into lives.” ^[2]

“I was blessed with a father who told me that he was proud of me, and that I could do whatever I wanted; that whatever I set my heart to, I needed to go do that.” ^[2]

Reading this song really got me thinking about openness. Willingness to share.
Because in all honesty-my favorite writers and singer-sthey are all about that.

You can hear their life story and read their books, listen to their music and it all correlates. It fits.

For a long time, Ive wanted to be all about honesty. And while I'm better at it than I was five years ago, I still struggle. A lot.
And the thing is-I write. I write here, I write in my journal, my sermon notes. I have pages and books full of songs and poems.

And I want to share them. I want to send these songs to record companies and say "this needs to be sung"

I wouldn't sing it-I know me and being a singer isn't me.
But just sharing the songs-that's still a big part of it.

It still scares me to share my songs and poems and let people know in my way whats going on.

Makes me wonder if I really am honest and open.

Makes me glad that sometimes I don't have to be.

Makes me glad there is so much music that already is.

You dismantle me

2010-04-08T23:29:00.000-07:00

I love this song.

One last glance from a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks've felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Didn't want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty, and you said

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change, oh, they're gonna change

I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)
only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Give me time to prove
Prove I want the rest of yours (prelude)
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you
It's not that I hang on every word
I hang myself on what you repeat
It's not that I keep hanging on
I'm never letting go

[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Help me save me from myself
Save me from myself

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

[Chorus 4x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian Scorecard

2010-04-05T18:54:00.000-07:00

The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard”

134. They mention that there favorite snack is ghetto cookies from Vacation Bible School. = +3 points

135. At some point they mention that they wish American Idol was on the PAX channel instead of Fox. = +3 points

136. They mention they are single and might be a “bachelor til the rapture.” = +2 points

To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net.

Love should be. (Easter is)

2010-04-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

It took me years to realize it, but Easter is my favorite holiday.
Not because of chocolate and big dinners or anything.

Because..its about God.
It is spring to me. Its new beginnings. Its right off of Lent where you are giving up something for the bettering of yourself.

Its resurrection. Of course Im one of those people who always confuse in Christmas with Easter.
Because it makes sense. Jesus was born to die for us. The two holidays are linked in that one huge big way.

But I like Easter because Easter is love to me.

And lately its been on my mind what love is and what love isnt.

Because love to me is sacrificial.
It is giving all the time, not necessarily always receiving.
It is giving because of want, not need.

It is forgiving flaws in light of the good, in light of what could be.
Love is unconditional. Always there, always love.

Im studying for a health midterm and in taking about how to be in a good friendship it says "Be altruistic; that is, be generous without expecting anything in return"

Im blown away. Because what doctors and scientists and experts say about love and relationships-all of it-you see Jesus act out in the bible.
We should following Jesus and his examples.

We should be acting out this kind of love.

There is no better day of any year than Easter to realize how much he loved us, why he did, how he did.

He died so that we would have a better life.

Love should be this.

Love should not be depicted by movies and tv: jealous, revengeful, lustful, evil, flip-flopping, infatuated, breakable.
It disgusts me how easily love and relationships are taken for granted.
This things should be for life.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13

Truth scares me. Sometimes.

2010-03-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

As much as I feel Ive been ranting here lately (and I dont like it much), I feel the need to post this.

On Sunday I got sick and since Ive gotten better (it was just a small cold) but am dealing with another bout of small sickness and my worst enemy: insomnia.

I mean. Ive dealt with insomnia a lot over the years and trust me, I know the steps to get rid of it. Im totally not that person who follows the rules to stay away from it.
(Someone even twittered me the steps to get rid of it the other night. WHAT.)

Anyways. As gross as insomnia is, it always leads to some kind of inspiration or some kind nugget of truth.

So I wrote in my journal and I felt I should share part of what I wrote. So here we go.
(I just realized if you dont talk to me much you may not know why my journal entry lead to this but I trust you're all smart and will figure it out.)

Leaving scares me. And my parents dont want me to but...there is a knowing need that I need to.
I want to more and more everyday.

God Im growing up.
It freaks me out so much.

Id like nothing more than to crawl back not a hole and revert back to another age, but Ive learned and know better.
I cant just hide. I have to grow and move and learn.

Reasons 24, 400, and 395...

2010-03-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

...why I like Switchfoot.

1. New podcast. So. Much. Fun.

2. They announced their new single: The Sound. Great fun fantastic song. (If you havent heard it-go listen to it here. Buy it here.)

3. Jon is writing genius. He just wrote this article for the Huffington Post. 9He's wirtten 2 or 3 others before).

"Maybe truth is not something that I can possess. Maybe truth is something which possesses me."

I look at the words now scrawled on the back of my hand. I think it over and look away. The clouds are turning colors, blue, grey, green, purple. The sun is setting off somewhere behind me. It's my favorite time of day. I look back at my hand and read the idea again.

"Maybe truth is something which possesses me."

To be possessed by truth rather than the other way round is a thought that goes against much of what I have been taught. In fact, most of my education has been presented as a growing accumulation of truth. Throughout public school, I was graded on my comprehension of the facts. The higher grades were awarded to those who really owned the material.

Great stuff. Read it.

Anyways. Thats all today kiddies. Love you much.

I like to read.

2010-03-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

Bold the ones you’ve read COMPLETELY, italicize the ones you’ve read part of, and no cheating. Watching the movie or the cartoon doesn’t count. Abridged versions don’t count either. BTW, according to the BBC if you’ve read 7 of these, you are above the average.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (Im still...in the middle of it. Someday I'll finish it)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible (Many many times)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (See LOTR)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville a paper on this one, too.
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Ah. So many that I want to read. Someday. Before I die.

Im actually currently reading Tartuffe (funny play! Im only done with Act 1 so far) and...the drivers handbook.

I will be licensed before summer is here! I will be!

Im reading other books too, but those are top 2 biggest important ones you need to know about. :D

Seriously? It has to be scheauled like that?

2010-03-18T16:37:00.001-07:00

Warning: this post contains rantings about school. So don't be offended. or offend me. hehe :P
But seriously.

DDDDUUUUDDDDEEEEE.

I was on schedule and now I'm behind on homework again.

Im making a Google doc with the list of homework and tests and such for the rest of the semester so i stay better on track. (So if you want me to email it to you so you can see it and help me stay on track, let me know your email!)

I mean, okay, some little things are me not getting stuff done on time but really?!?!?

Like-why the crap are teachers making the midterm test the class after spring week???

I don't want to study on spring week! Ugh. *whine whine whine*

Well at least there's no real Midterm or Final for my Art and Drama classes.

My math class I can handle. Just need to finish an assignment or two in the next couple weeks and I'll let myself breath about it again.
(Why the Midterm is worth more than my final I really dont get. And tis annoying to do A LOT of homework when its only worth like 10%. Whatever)

But my health class??
I like that teacher, I really do.
But man is she packing it on with papers and projects and huge midterm and huge final. UGH UGH UGH.

Oh. And then I'm not only trying to do all this but also move up my finals for a trip at the end of May.
(Seriously praying for those two teachers to email me soon and let me move those finals around.)

Oy Vey.

If I wasn't already crazy, I'll be clinically insane soon.

*sigh* Alright. Rant over.

A good grade feels more like relief these days.

2010-03-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

Currently: supposed to be doing homework. But my brain is haywire and cannot focus.

Im doing good in school.
I had my reservations about this semester. About how Im taking more than I did last semester, and in subjects that were almost completely new to me.

Im pretty sure I freaked out the first month when I saw the syllabus's and all the papers and projects.

But in the last 24 hours I've felt better.

Last Tuesday I spent like 4 hours writing a paper for my Art class on this art show I had to go to. (I'd estimate around 1 hour of actually looking at the peices and taking notes on them.)
Got it back last night.
A. Got an A. My teacher left nice notes.

And we had a test last week. Got an 85% on the first test.
Got a 99% on the second test. EEE.

Its nice to know that all the time and work paid off but also made me realize-if I really want grades like that all the time in all my classes-I have to be working crazy hard like I did last week like..all the time.

Ugh.
I mean its good, but its just a lot.
I really do feel like a college kid.

But like a good grade is just like...a sigh of relief. To know I did and did it to extent im more or less "supposed to" do. I dunno.
Things Ive been doing have felt sub-pare or only half-done lately so its nice to know my teachers see that im working hard at all this.

Also-spent so much of last week working on a PowerPoint for Theater class. Was finally graded today-got my full 200 points for it.
Whew.

And now..right now Im attempting to work on homework before winter camp this weekend.
I'm really excited for it and have this feeling it'll change me some. I dont know.
But I essentially have the next...45 or so hours till I leave to work on things.
I dont expect much sleep until spring break in 3 more weeks.

But. ahem. my homework load is a little more than I thought. So if I start to not blog or be online or something.
No, I did not fall off the face of the planet, Im just trying to not only pass my classes this semester but really get honest great grades like I used to and raise up my GPA.

And then finally-just thanks to anyways who's wished me luck, prayed for me, helped with anything.
I really really appreciate it.
Im just in that kind of season of my life at the moment.

All right. I have 20 minutes left at the library and then Im headed off to Chick-Fil-A or somewhere else with wireless to do more homework.
(Net at home is just yeck so ive been lugging the laptop all over town)

Just because we cant see the silver lining-doesnt mean it isnt there.

2010-03-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

Im sure we've all heard that phrase.
"The silver lining". Heck, I've got Relient K songs stuck in my head with that phrase.

As busy as my life is lately, my heart stills feels for Chelsea King and Amber Dubois.

Because here's the thing-it was a terrible terrible thing that happened to Chelsea. I dont think anybody could see the good in it.
Shortly after they found her body my mom mentioned that in the past year-because of Amber, that other girls that looked like her had been found.
Silver Lining: Others ARE being found.

And then there was a small silver lining after Chelsea's death. Amber's case got attention again.
People came with tips and leads that they'd never told.
There was hope again.

They found Amber's remains.
She died-probably the same way Chelsea did.

It made me sad.
But at the same time-at least her family can rest now and peace knowing what happened.
Yes, there will be mourning for a while-but isnt it better to know?

My mom agreed with me-it was sad that the only way her case got attention was through another girls death.
It took another girls disappearance and death to find a girl who had disappeared and died over a year ago.

Is that really a silver lining?
Is this really what God intended?

I doubt it.
I remember this thought that all the bad in this world doesn't happen because of God-its because of us.
We are the sinners, not him.
Bad is merely the absence of good.

But there's a bigger thing - we dont always see God's plan.
Sometimes a disaster-such as a fire or earthquake is needed to bring people together.

I am a believer in the silver lining-there has to be hope in everything.
There has to be some good come out of it.

And so, when my mom opened my door last night and told me Amber's body was found-my mind jumped to a conclusion.
There has to be other girls that are being found that we dont know about.

We cannot see the silver lining all the time.
It could be others being found.
It could tougher laws being made and passed.
There has to be something.

Its not as easy as seeing the sun break through the clouds when its been raining all day.

It was raining all day yesterday and I saw this cloud. You can see the full darkness on one side, the heaviness of the rain.
But It wasnt just that, its the lightness and reflection of the sun on the other side is what caught me.

There is hope all the midst of the worlds recent tragedy.
How could we believe otherwise?

Hurt.

2010-03-04T00:33:00.000-08:00

I wrote in my last post about things that were heavy on my mind and heart.

How it hurt me.

It still hurts.

It hurts that, not only locally where I life have there been so many girls, girls in such prime, to just go vanishing, but all over the country.
All over the world. My friend Job wrote about how there are so many more Chelsea King's out there and its insane how little attention they got, how much she got.

Did it really have to happen this many times on such a level to get our attention?

To not only have them vanish but to find them, find dead bodies..and find signs of rape and molestation and just know they went through this horrible thing before passing for...what?
A killers self-delusions? Selfish wants?

It frightens and scares me.

Im not just talking about the rape, which is a fear, but to go through that kind of horror and not be able to send some kind of message out after...to not be able let your family have peace right away.

It hurts them.
It hurts all of us.

Maybe its cause I wear my heart on my sleeve, but knowing these people hurt, it hurts me.

I sympathize. I find small ways to empathize.

And then to think, thats not the only wrong in our world.
There's these natural disasters that break your heart to see how much help is needed, and how little we give.

Haiti was ONLY a month ago.
Hurricane Katrina was over a couple years ago-there are STILL people recovering from that.
I live in area where there are fires almost every fall. People have to recover from lost things every. single. year.

Why are we forgetting about Haiti so quickly?

They NEED help.
I read this blog by Anne Jackson and she went down there two weeks ago.

Not only did she go help, but she's going back.

It's the same with Chile and the recent tsunami warnings and every other natural disaster- We freak out, try to help how we can, hope and pray, and then...forget?

Shouldnt these be things on our mind??

My friend Lee wrote this:

R.I.P. Chelsea King

I didn't even know her, but my heart breaks for her. No one should have to go like that. NO ONE. It just makes me so sick. She had everything going for her. She was beautiful. She was talented. She was loved. But one selfish man took all of that away from her. I can't even express how angry this makes me. This world is jacked up. Rapists deserve the death penalty.

Then again, so do I.

All this hurt, all this stuff in the world does come back to us.
We all sin.

We all hurt.

We mess up.

Its hard for me to see the light somedays and with all this hurt, its been hard.

But then I read this today.

I hope you’re not holding a boomerang right now. I hope there’s not a boomerang that’s swallowed your life whole in it’s awfulness, but if there is, know this, you’ve got a God who loves you. A God who can’t wait to be gracious. A God who forgives boomerangs.

Our sin comes back to us.
Natural disasters dont go away for good.

BUT GOD STILL LOVES US DESPITE THAT.

And that..that is all I can ask for, and more then I deserve.

Our world needs prayer.

2010-02-28T01:22:00.000-08:00

I just tweeted this but..it couldnt fit into 140 characters and my thoughts go farther.

My heart hurts for Haiti and Chile and Chelsea King tonight. Im too stunned how how our world goes to one tragedy to start to recover and see another. But Im selfish too. Im going to need so much prayer to be able to get all my homework done this week. I cant even laugh it. And then theres the selfish me that hates long-distance in my life. It just all makes me sad. Our world needs so much prayer.

--"My heart hurts for Haiti and Chile and Chelsea King tonight"
I dont have the money or time to give to the devastating natural disasters that seem to literally rock our world so I pray. Its sad. To see one event, to still be recovery, and just...be hit by another?
It makes me sad, makes me wonder why its happening.
And Chelsea King.
Went missing in Poway. I have friends in LA tryin to get her home. I went to downtown san Diego and today and people were posting flyers.
Another local girl went missing a year ago. It freaks me out, makes me sick, sad, and worried that these girls are just disappearing. That whole communities are putting out so much time and effort to find..what? A shoe?

I pray God brings them home and brings their families peace.

--"But Im selfish too. Im going to need so much prayer to be able to get all my homework done this week. I cant even laugh it."
Maybe its time management or something but I have projects and essays due this week and others I have to start on this week.
I feel like seeing my friends before my birthday, taking a break then...I cant decide if it was good or bad. Should I have been preparing for this? Or was it good that I saw my own little world or people before being crushed by homework again?
Im feeling the need to shut down things like twitter and facebook and things.

My focus is on school this week. I will find some way to get it all done. (even if it means no sleep and lots of coffee.)

--"And then theres the selfish me that hates long-distance in my life."
Well, another part of selfish me.
My closest friends know. too many relationships in my life are hindered by the fact that...we dont live the same county, state, country.
There are nights Im just..sick of it. Esp lately. I love you all so much.

--"It just all makes me sad. Our world needs so much prayer."

Here's the big point. The bigger thing.

Our world needs God.

Its just that simple.
We need prayer.
We need love.
We need to God to be more present in our lives.

We need to start being better examples of Jesus. Better examples of Christ's love.

I cant look at the sadness and the worst of the world things and even my own personal things and not think that.
We NEED him.

Im praying my heart and my life out for all of this. I hope you are too.

"Mysterious ways why God gave his life to put motion inside my soul"

2010-02-21T23:59:00.000-08:00

Currently: listening to Switchfoot's "Love Is The Movement". Remembering why I fell in love with this song in the first place. Have it on repeat.

Hi. I havent posted in a long time. Which makes me feel bad. Cause there are things Ive been wanting to post. But I dont. Cause Im busy. And get distracted much too easily.
--Things including a range from Olympics to how I spent this weekend away to how Im spending my last day as a teenager even to Banana Pancakes.
---Dont judge. You read this blog. You love my random topics.

-Im really tired. And should go to bed. But Im not cause I have to plan for this long day tomorrow (today) and need to do a couple homework things.
-Even if I did go to bed Id just read for a while. And distract myself for at least another hour. Ad then worry and do things online.

-Seeing a couple sitting across from me on the Sprinter gives me so many mixed emotions

-Im really sick of not having money. I like that Ive heard a lot of sermons lately about not worrying about it and such but ugh.

-Im really obsessed with the Olympics. Pure out straight in love with them.

-I think I might be getting sick. My nose is stuffy and im coughing horribly.
-But I dont want to say anything because
A) my friend will think its her fault. Which Im hoping it isnt.
B) Even though I said Id be sick on my birthday, I didnt really want it to happen.

-Im really excited to play my cello again. You have no idea.

-I REALLY need to do laundry. Like, I have clean shirts and jeans and stuff, but My favorite shirts are dirty and Im completely out of undershirts. and I only have like two clean pair of good underwear. TMI? Maybe. But truth.

-I really hate my internet.

-I dislike talking to people on IM and having them fall asleep on me. ESP when theyre supposed to call. Or have their status set in a way where it wont show if they go idle.

-I got my hair-trimmed. It was a birthday present.

-The McDonalds coffee I had this morning-it feels like its just wearing off. I dont know how I survive Sundays without coffee. Long long days.

-Im going to Big Bear next month. Excitement.

-I officially havent checked anything Switchfoot related in 72 hours. Little jittery over here. Maybe its the remnants of the coffee.

I think Im done now.
Oh look Im yawning now.
Coffee tomorrow? YES.

"You are the hope, that keeps me trusting."

2010-02-09T02:44:00.000-08:00

This song has been stuck in my head.
I love it. Its applicable to my life and I always feel the need to share it.
(There is the famous skit to this song to, but as a musician, I fall much more in love with the song and the words)

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

I need these 10 minutes, I need this honesty.

2010-02-05T00:50:00.000-08:00

Currently: listening to this song.

My last post-the one wrote yesterday and just now posted. It scares me.

I wanted to write what Im now added to it, but I knew it I couldnt.

Because now Im talking about fear and honesty.

Ive been very scared with my life lately. And its because I know that God has not only placed me in a time of my life I dont understand, but situations are completely new and foreign to me too.

But at the same time, its forced me to be be more honest.
Mostly more honest in general, but more importantly, more honest to myself.

Here's the thing. I need this. I need God.

I dont care if you read my blog or not, agree with my life and opinions or not, cause this is me.

And me? As scary as it is to admit I have issues just to spend 10 minutes with God, Im being honest about my situation.

I need those 10 minutes to be away.

I need to be honest about how it went too.

I am me when I write and sing and worship. But if you ask me how I am in person, I bend my truth. I routinely say "fine, okay".

I am scared of getting my heart hurt horribly hurt again, even when Im happiest Ive ever been in my life.

But I want to be truthful. I am sick and tired of the drama and games of hiding old fears, of not working them out.

Sometimes that includes my worries that Im still depressed or that I'll never work out a "normal life" that a lot of people want for me.

But it also includes how great life is, how much God has blessed it.

I am scared, but I am honest in this new time of my life.
Im not sure which part of it is bigger.

I love the old parts, I love the comfort, But I have so much wanderlust.
I have feelings of temporanyiness and like I'll be somewhere else soon.

And Im so so so ready for it.

Ties to the World

2010-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Currently: in need of a nap. or something

My church is doing this 20/10 thing this year. Im not exactly sure on all the details cause for the whole first month of this year I missed the sermons and what not but essentially what it is, is for 20 days in a month, to spend 10 minutes a day with God.

I didnt do it last month due to just not understanding for some reason and in my mind being busy.
I knew I wouldnt do it if I wasnt reminded every week by pastor. Which is just..horrible.

Anyways. My church is doing it again this month and im going to try.

I just.."tried" now... I didnt think it would be this hard. Maybe its because its early in the morning and im frustrated with school and my net and its really early in the morning (I'll prolly post this much later) and other little things
BUT
I come to God so so so easily on Sunday Mornings for prayer sessions that last longer.
I stand and sing worship for so much longer.

So.Why?
Why is it harder in my home? For ten minutes?
To put on something like Lifehouse's "Everything" and just close my eyes and sing?
Maybe its because..my computer is here. My books. My phone. My distractions. My world.
All my ties to everything are here.

At church, its sanctuary, its safe. Its me and God. At home, its me and who I let in.

Ive been to conventions and camps where the theme was "Stop the Noise".
And it needs to be said. world noise, inner noise, personal noise, is so loud, so disruptive, so consuming and taking charge of our lives.

Has it become this hard to remind ourselves to take ten minutes away from it all?

My Favorite Month.

2010-02-01T19:47:00.000-08:00

Currently: House in on. (I was watching Jeopardy before that. College week!)

Okay, here goes my first post for this month.
Oh and look at the pretty NaBloPoMo badge!
Eee. Heh.

I like February. Its my favorite month. Its that perfect bwtn Winter and Spring month and has my cats birthday, my birthday.
Im indifferent to VDay.
Oh. Had a meeting for kids church yesterday. Makes me very very excited for my church and our kids program.
I'll be a bit busier but we're doing things that hopefully make the kids happier and I love that part of it. :)

Not much else. Planning a long day at school tomorrow.

OH.ALSO.
I edited my blog a little bit but please please please let me know if i dont have your blog on my blogroll thing. Mmk?
At some point, im gonna go edit old posts and put more tags in. Its weird to see how much I post about what.
Alright. Im done.

Best...Writing.

2010-01-31T15:36:00.000-08:00

Currently: really really tired.

It's the last day of the month.
So thoughts on the NaBloPoMo thing?
I mostly like it. Its fun and I like writing and sharing things.

The only stretch for me? Posting every single day. Sometimes Im too busy or tired and just dont have the inspiration, motivation.

But it got more thinking about what I do write, how I write, what I share.

Im thinking of doing like a scheadule thing. Maybe share a bunch of links one day a week, take a couple days off.

Edit.
So I wrote all that yesterday and had to get offline with the intention of coming back and posting before going to bed.
iFail. (I do it ALOT).

I dont have much to add to what I already wrote.
I did sign up for the month of Feb for NaBloPoMo. I dont expect to post EVERY SINGLE DAY,
but we'll see.
The theme is ties. Ties to things. Hmm. This could be interesting.
Im more or less likely being connected to bigger group of bloggers.
Alrighty. Back to thy lives people.

Time rules my life some days

2010-01-30T03:41:00.000-08:00

Currently: watching House on Hulu, making a To-Do list and thinking about how busy I'll be this weekend.

Someone gave a really nice Journal for Christmas 08 and I haven't used it till now? What am I uing it for??
Lists.
So far: Things I Want To Be, Ideas For Major, and a To-Do List with today's date. (not all to do today, just the first of what i expect to be many to-do lists.)

I missed yesterdays post cause my internet sucked and by the time I got on I didn't feel like rushing something when i had no inspiration.
And then I realized that after this post I only have one more for this month. It'll prolly be a wrap-up post on the whole posting for a month thing. Ive got like 10 million little ideas.

Honestly, Id love to keep posting at least 3/4 times a week, but it hit me earlier not only how busy I am this weekend (figuring out school stuff, two lunch meetings, 2 classes to teach, homework, reading, sleep? maybe) but how busy I'll be this semester.

I keep thinking I did the same stuff last semester but I keep comparing it in my head and for some reason it feels like Ive taken on more.

Im actually expecting a lot of things.

Like that Im gonna be sick on my upcoming Birthday.
-I was sick when I was 5. (My "party" was delayed two days and i pushed to have it with my parents worry about me eating the cake and keeping it down)
-I dont remember how or why but I know I was sick when I turned 10 (Pocahontas themed things that year. THAT I remember.)
-I was sick when I turned 15. Out of school a week and a half. My friends swear it was so no one could sing to me at school. (Also-the only time I ever got flowers-Bouquet of pink roses from my dad)

I expect to stress out a few times this semester.

I expect to hate time and the clock and constant rotation of scheduled things.

Can we just stop the clock for a little bit?

I mean..put in time to sleep or get those little tiny things done. (They add up the most y'know)

And not even all of it has dawned on me, everything I need to do. Its insane.

Didnt I just talk about time when the new year came?
About the craziness of a new year, new decade?

Oye. Its moment like these I feel old. And you have no idea how many I know are looking at the screen or at me and talking to me on the phone going "you are not old...me on the other hand.." (or some variation of that.)

Anyways. Im starting to ramble and I reserve that for the letters I write to people.
Its 4 am. I have lists to write. Sleep to eventually see to.

Best...(My own) Words.

2010-01-28T22:38:00.000-08:00

Since I read those blogs I posted yesterday I cant get the thought about words out of head.

How big and huge and important they are. How they impact us daily. Every hour second of every minute of hour of day of week of...

Words are huge.

Like in the Anne Jackson blog-it close to home for me because I got teased in Elemantary school.
Somedays Im still not sure why.
I mean I was this little nerdy girl with glasses who hung out with either guys or nobdy 90% of the time. And then I have this kind of infamous last name. It didnt help that while I was in Elemantary school this ketchup brand that my last name is close to came out with new brands of Ketchup providing much more nicknames for me.

Point is, I know how words can hurt. Heck. I taught about in Kids church just this much. How the "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" phrase isnt always true.

And that stuff when I was a kid. It doesnt hurt me now. I can for the most part brush it off.
But when you're 9, 10..and hitting puberty before anybody else?
Yea. I can safely say it impacted me.

But I know the good of words too.

I know, many times over, how it feels or what happens when you listen to a song and your heart responds to every line.
I know what happens when you go to church and pray and break down because the pastor or someone praying said a word or phrase that you needed to hear, that God wanted you to be there to hear it that day.

Words are big-receiving and giving. Having a little brother, Ive learned when I go far.
Having friends who are girls-Ive learned it.
In middle school, I started to loathe drama and realized painfully in High School how it was created by spoken rumors just spun out of control-and of course spoken by word of mouth over and over and over.

But its not like we can close our ears to not words, not close our mouths to not say them. It is an essential human thing.

Jon foreman wrote how when you say word and an image comes to mind, it is a placeholder.

If I said brownie-is it not an image of your favorite kind in your head? Not the word itself?

Maybe Im finding the writer in myself but Jon's paragraph struck me so deep and true.

I don't write songs when I'm happy. When I'm content, I take my wife out to dinner, I go surfing. I hang out with my friends and play ridiculous cover tunes when I'm happy. But when I'm depressed, I turn to look for something beyond this life. When I'm lonely and nothing makes sense and the world has lost it's flavor I search for notes and words that usher in a transcendence that soars high above the tragedy. I look for to song to understand the present tragedy in the context of a hope for a better world. I look for words that remind me of a bigger story, for songs that acknowledge the tragedy and move beyond it. I look to artists who give me windows, words that provide for a new life to be birthed within me.

Is it escape? Is it a coping mechanism? Maybe a bit, but I feel that it is much more than that. The song becomes a hopeful defiance. A declaration that the injustices and absurdities of our postmodern existence are not the final downbeat. Music becomes a confession of disbelief in the world that surrounds me. A refusal to believe that these tragedies and horrors are the ultimate end. A refusal to accept the oppression of the Dalit's as anything other than tragic. A nonacceptance that the starving six year old is anything other than tragic. The song is written in defense of a world beyond this one, in defense of Truths that seldom make it to the front page of the newspaper. Words create worlds.

I bolded out what hit me most.

Words are so big. We need to eb careful how we use them. The world needs it. We need it. You AND me.

Best...Words.

2010-01-27T12:43:00.000-08:00

Maybe the universe is trying to send me a message.

But I read two blogs back to back the other night, both on the power of words. So Im sharing them.

The first is by Anne Jackson. Its on the power of words and it def hit home for me.

For most of my life, I’ve been an extremely sensitive person. I also had a terribly awkward last name growing up, so it was easy to make fun of the goofy girl with big teeth and big eyes and a funny last name.

I spent a lot of my elementary school days crying alone in my room, brooding on whatever harsh words were spoken to me by my classmates.

In high school, I grew out of the big teeth (I actually quite like my teeth now), and found myself in academics and sports. I was in the National Honor Society, was identified by the Duke University talented program in the seventh grade, aced my honors classes, and excelled at basketball. Our family settled into Abilene for a few years while I was in high school and I made good friends that I still adore today. I didn’t get made fun of much then, or as I blossomed into an adult and into a couple of different careers.

My mom always prayed that I would have a sensitive heart, and now as I share it in a world where thousands can read and voice their own opinion, my skin has become soft again.

Words move me in dramatic ways – both positive, and negative.

Read the rest here.

And the second is by Jon Foreman.
He wrote a third article for the Huffington Post. Maybe its cause he's one of my heros of sorts and I try to write in a similar manner but it also struck a few chords with me.

Communication is a pregnancy of sorts. In a speaker's mind, a thought is conceived, then spoken, heard, and then ultimately gives birth to new thought in the listener's mental landscape. For example, when I say "tree," a picture builds in your imagination, a new life-form within your mind; a platonic idea of oak or maple appears out of nothing within your thoughts. This mental icon represents your understanding of the word. (Incidentally, this apprehension is independent of the speaker's intentions).

In many ways, words are metaphors pointing to the objects they represent. The word "tree" is not a tree; it is simply a placeholder for the real thing. Our understanding of the world is built upon a deeper set of presuppositions. Meaning demands meaning. Reason demands reason: 1+1=2, only when we agree upon the meaning of these symbols. The same is true for words. Words are our framework of meaning. Every one is a metaphor reaching to something beyond it's simple spelling and articulation.

Read the rest here.
The first two blogs on Huffington are also here and here.

Let me 'splain somethin to you...

2010-01-26T00:49:00.000-08:00

Currently: watching/listening to Craig Ferguson. He makes me laugh. :)

iFail. I fail at a lot but I didnt think trying to write everyday would be one of them.
But! I have reasons for missing these past two days (I say two because its already technically Tuesday here.)

Sunday-literally.No sleep. Like I have this bad habit sometime son Sundays and this Sunday in my afternoon bwtn church and lunch and and church again, I pretty much napped. Well actually, I had a phone call, and just laid down in bed and listened and yawned and rested a lot during that phone call. ahaha. And when I got home. Well. It was late so im pretty much ate and then went to bed.

Monday-My net just pooped out on me. I tried to make blogger load earlier and my pages and web browser and net just did not like me. Oh wells.

Well I actually didnt have much to post about.

Although, I start school tomorrow(or tonight, technically). I have Intro to Art tomorrow night and I plan on going early to school so I can look at textbooks (procrastinate much? Maybe...) and do my health lab intro thing.
Im fairly excited about this semester. :)

okay, well Im out.Ive still got stuff to check and its very late and chyea.

Naturally Crazy.

2010-01-23T16:53:00.000-08:00

Currently: trying to not be so bored.

The formspring thing entertains me. But for todays post, I got asked this the other day:

Is your hair naturally curly?

Very. Its naturally crazy.

I thought it was funny. Well anyways, it was like that day that I had dont nothing to my h**r. I normally wash, comb, brush and gel it back a little before putting it up. But that I washed it, put it in a clip and let it frizz to its naturalness for the next 24 hours or so.

So I took pictures.

I wish I had taken pictures again later cause I had been standing in the rain and my h**r looked even crazier but chyea. anyways.

And if you dont know why Im treating h**r like a curse word...its a Switchfoot thing.

I try to make faces. It comes out horrible.

Dangit I did it again.

2010-01-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

I keep telling myself that if its one of those days where Im not doing anything, to get my post in before 11 pm at least. Here it is 11:25 and I have to do anything. So Hm.

I dont wanna write my what Ive thought about NaBloPoMo thing yet, cause I have a few more days to go but Ive completely forgotten the ten million ideas that have been bouncing around in my head.

So. For now. Enjoy the newest Switchfoot podcast. In case you havent seen it yet.

I love the song in the background. And while I dont surf, I love watching it.

It might be my favorite one yet. I dunno. Heh.

Best...Storms

2010-01-21T23:45:00.000-08:00

Currently: getting todays post in at the last minute.

Hokay. Uploading and posting a couple pictures. Of the ripples in water puddles from all the rain we've had, how gloomy the sky looks and...thunder? Lightning? Oh yes. And videos to come. :)

And finally. My flash was off.
There was thunder and lightning. I took so many shots to get lucky on this one. Enjoy . :)

(If you cant see the pictures, they are HERE.)

Best...Semester. (Hopefully!) (Spring semester school schedule)

2010-01-20T22:51:00.001-08:00

Currently: digesting a cookie. Mmm.

Okay. So after alot of hassle (and me breaking down for a few minutes last night on the phone with someone), I have my spring classes figured out!

Im NOT switching schools, as I have things to work out, but it'll most likely happen next semester.

Anyway. Schedule.

-Introduction to Art on Tuesday nights

-Principles of Health on Monday nights (which includes having to take the lab at my school's Wellness Center. Oh yay. Yes, I get to work out for a grade. Heheh...)
(oh yay I have attend orientation to know how to use. and the class is a late-start class...)

-Introduction to Theatre online

-Trigonometry online

So. there it is. Im not quite sure how I feel about it all but dont want to think about it too much.
Just thought some of you might like to know. :)

HOKAY. I have letters to write. And pictures to edit. And videos to upload.
Basically ten million personal things Ive procrastinated on for a couple months.

Fromspringyspringspring

2010-01-19T18:26:00.000-08:00

Currently: downloading a LOT of music. And not even half of it is stuff my friends recommended. Im still writing all that down for later.

Okay. I know I promised pictures of rain, but im making it goal to get school stuff done before I do that so, here's the thing.
I have this formspring thing.

And people ask em questions. So for todays post. Im just copying and pasting a few questions ive been asked and what I answered. I know. But Im busy and kind of need to focus on other things. But im still posting every day! (Except for those two...heheh)

Who inspires you the most?

Way too many people. But Jon Foreman, Stephen Christian (sp?) are a couple. My boardies friends, and kids. Kids ALWAYS inspire me.

Why is your name Amy?

Because (I kid you not) My mom was told my God her first child would be a girl named Amy. (or something along those lines)

Does your cello have a name?

It does not. Ive had it two yrs and have not named it. Although I will refer to it as my "wooden baby".

What's your favorite thing about playing the cello?

Oh sheesh. Lots of things but for me personally-its kind of connection. When I play I just flow into it and tend to put everything into playing. Playing just takes me somewhere nothing else does.

Is there any other place in the world you'd like to live in?

Definitely! Problem is, I want to see and live everywhere.

What was your favorite toy as a child?

Books! I was totally all about listening to my cassete tapes and reading books. My playdoh dried out and what barbies I had lost many-a shoes.

what was your favorite childhood book?

After seriously thinking, cause I read a lot and forget some, Narnia books. They stuck with me the most from my dad reading them to me to me reading them and wondering "colour" was. Haha.

Favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Hashbrowns, eggs over medium and country fried steak. YUM!

The rain brings things...

2010-01-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

Currently: hahhy.

So I joked a lot with some friends that they should send me snow even if it would be rain by the time it got here.

So I was happy when the weatherpeople said yes, we're getting lots of storms and lots of rain this week. (although I dont like the weatherman after the rain comes. I get that there's possibilities of thinks like mudslides and stuff, but stop complaining! Just enjoy our God given nature. I do.)

but like Ive said before, the rain always brings things.

Like my cat. He's been out almost all weekend came in today soaked and with a "owwie" on his head. And still-after eating, being petted, and getting dry, wants to go back out. crazy thing.

and school. Ive been thinking about switching schools and I found my password for the other community college close to me and called my friend to see if we could get the same classes. Ive still got ten little tiny details to work out, but I'll be doing all that this week.

My grandma leaves tomorrow. As we're getting the end tails of these huge storms, Im praying she makes it back to Portland safe. (She's going on train.)

Oh. And last night. I just had one girl in my class so while she did memory stuff I was able to sort through my papers and class materials and such.

:D

I took some lovely pictures of rain puddles and ripples today. But those are for another day.

Best...Friends and Boardies

2010-01-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

For my "boardies" and other and online friends and communities.
You know who you are. :)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/S1KWguLy6NI/AAAAAAAAK2k/PO380XcQCVg/s1600-h/comp2.jpg

Best....Movies. Well a couple good movies. And this Podcast.

2010-01-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

Currently: annoyed with school. Im so close to having my classes registered and paid for...

I went to the movies last night.
Well cause my grandma's here visiting. And she's big on going to the movie theater and getting popcorn and all that.

SO. Her, my parents and brother and I went to see The Book of Eli.

Ohmygee.

It was good. It was really good.
Im going to try and give a small review of it with no/little spoilers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, its Rated R, which I didnt know. Cause the "bad guys"..they do drop the "f bomb" and s word a few times and there is fighting with knives and guns and blood and chyea.
There were points I closed my eyes.
Uhm. But the main character? Loved him.

The story itself, the plot is great. Not that Im super into awards or anything, but I could see the movie at least being nominated for something down the road. well, if it gets enough attention.

Oh. And Mila Kunis is in it and at first I thought. Okay action movie. She's on of the few handful of girla actually in the movie. And yea that was true. BUT. She ends up playing this really nice role and..
I have to say..There's a point in the movie where her character just flips things around. And from that point on..the whole movie just goes in this direction you almost never thought would happen. It was really good. :)

Im not sure what else to say other than go see it. I really really liked it. It'll be hard to top this one for me this year. Heh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay. Thats over.
(The movie last night is why I didnt post yesterday, got home super late.)
Oh. And then today my cousin and his girlfriend came down and after lunch we rented a couple movies and watched Up together.
Ah. I adore Up

"I have just met you, and I love you"
Hehe.
Oh yea. My mom hadnt seen it yet, so that was nice.

Last thing.
Switchfoot.
Tv.
New Podcast.
In...I dont even know how many months. Heh.
So highlarious. Back with full epicness. Just watch. You'll laugh. trust me.

Continuing on with the cello theme...

2010-01-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

This.

It reminds me of Zoe Keating. I love it so so much.

I maybe want to be that kind of Cellist someday.

Ah. Anyways. Not much else.

My heart hurts for Haiti. A lot. Be sure to pray for them and donate if you can. Remember-most charities make their bulk through little donations. Anything helps.

I miss it. So im going to change it.

2010-01-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, I do love the whole trying to get people to post more and post every day but...its weird for me now. The first week was great. I love sharing random vids and such BUT
I dont necessarily feel like posting.
Its getting to be a bit of obligation almost.
I dunno.

OH. Anyways.
I got one of these formspring things. (http://www.formspring.me/Celloist) where you can ask people random questions

Maybe its cause I post it mainly on my twitter, but I got a few cello questions and it makes me realize how much I really miss playing.

So Ive decided. The minute I have a job, Im buying sheet music. Im looking for good cello solo stuff, buying it and practicing and then I dunno.
Youtube a couple songs for my boardie friends maybe.
Maybe work out something with a couple close friends who also play instruments.

The sheet music Ive wanted forever?? John Tavener: Chant For Cello
I swear everytime I check it, the price goes down (Just taunting me...)

And then there's this piece.
Julie-O.

My boardies friends showed it to me one week and I have no idea how I'll find the music but someday I will.
Someday.

Im just gonna say it.

2010-01-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

In this whole stupid upheaval of Leno/Conan

ALL I have to say is.

Team Ferguson.

Thank you and G'night.

Best...Show? Yes again. Castle/Firefly

2010-01-11T21:20:00.000-08:00

Currently: watching Castle with my mom.

I really didn't have anything hugely important to post about about.

But why not mention Castle? Its one of those shows where I only started watching cause my mom does and i love the main actor.
He was Dr.Horrible and Firefly.

Wow. Six months I had just heard of shows. Now I love love love them.

Like..oh. The Halloween episode of castle

Opening scene.
[Music similar to the Firefly theme is playing. Castle enters dressed in a "Browncoat"-like outfit]
Alexis: What exactly are you supposed to be?
Richard Castle: Space cowboy.
Alexis: Ok, A: there are no cows in space. B: didn't you wear that like five years ago?
Richard Castle: So?
Alexis: So, don't you think you should move on?
Richard Castle: I like it.

*dies* I wish I could find a picture. He was wearing the same outfit he wore in Firefly.
Anywho.
Hm. I have some Firefly espisodes in my Hulu que. Rewatching? yes yes yes.

Take it to heart.

2010-01-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

Currently: listening to Anberlin's Cities.

I dont think I could ever list every reason why Ive come to love teaching childrens church but I found another today.

I can take it all to heart.

The fact that the kids WANT to pray for each other, that they KNOW God is great and amazing.
They have such amazing faith.

I think we reverse grow in faith. We live in copious amounts of it at that young age and then go back trying to have the child faith again.

But mostly, that I can take what Im teaching to heart.

Regardless that Im the teacher and teaching and *should* know all this.
Regardless that its the simple stuff.

Its the stuff that we need to hear.
I feel like a sponge teaching. Soaking it up and squeezing and pouring it back out onto the kids.

Thank you God.

Your motives unstable you're like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about

This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived? that you're no better than...
The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of

This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in

You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marks your heart
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marks your heart
You're so brilliant (This is the correlation)
Don't soon forget (Between salvation and love, don't drop your arms)
You're so brilliant (I'll guard your heart)
Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark)

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Don't drop your arms
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
The Unwinding Cable Car-Anberlin

I think I have maybe possibly decided something.

2010-01-09T19:17:00.000-08:00

I really want to learn how to ride a bike this year

Before you laugh, YES, I dont know how. I freaked out when I was 10 and the training well was bent on my bike.

This may or may not not have been inspired by Queen's Bicycle Race.

Note: I actually DO like star wars. But Jaws is still not my scene.

I like being me just for me.

2010-01-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

Currently: waiting for my music to start playing. Ah, there it is.

My hair is messy.

My face looks gross. I just read this blog and it makes me wonder what others would think if i started wearing make-up daily again. Some days I dont even do my hair, just let it flow and be its natural craziness.

Ive been in my pjs all day long and it makes me feel unmotivated and lazy. I have nothing to do.

I want to keep just reading and writing and sleeping and hiding in my little cocoon when I need to start preparing for school in a couple weeks.

A new semester. Another chance to be better.

I didnt post yesterday because..why? I tend to not write till late and went to college group. came back home late and couldnt get myself to write for anyone but myself till 1 am.

These feel like hard days ahead. Im not sure why. But it doesnt freak me out anymore.
I know Im ready for whatever, that God prepares me for everything. I'll work it all out in time. He'll let me know on his time.

I think this year is going to bring change. And I feel like Im going to get more of certain kinds of it than I have before in the past.

but right now? Right now Im going to look at classes and listen to music and wait for Craig Ferguson to be on.

Best...Show? Maybe.

2010-01-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

Currently: trying to convince myself not to eat anymore Ferrero Rocher. Mmm so good. Esp the dark chocolate.

I almost forget to post today. *dies*

It was a chill day. I stayed up late reading, slept in, finished re-reading my book, took a shower and slowly made my way through checking e-mail and such.
So..thinking of a topic and I remembered this link that my friend posted.
"Everything you need to know about lost in 8:15"
*dies again* I cant believe the last season starts next month. I, for one, am not quite sure we will still be able to understand everything at the end of it. Like the Lemony Snicket books y'know?
You have ten million questions throughout the ENTIRE series and finally, finally, last book comes out.
More freakin questions than ever before. heheh.
Well, we shall see. Won't we?

Best....Band.

2010-01-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

Currently: thinking I need to redo my toenails.

Okay. The theme for the month long thing is Best.

So. Yes. Here we go.
Best Band? Switchfoot.

Im not even going to try and prove my case to you all (considering most of you already also have them as your fav band...) but am going to tell you this.

Job (from wereawakening.blogspot.com) and Jeanna (landofbrokenhearts.org) are running the old Footsoldiers again.
YAY!

So. To get involved. Twitter. - http://twitter.com/SFfootsoldiers
Youtube. - http://www.youtube.com/user/SFfootsoldiers

Right now theyre trying to get More and more people to become fans of Switchfoot's facebook page and if you're my friend and arnt, Ive sent you an inv (I dont spam like this normally promise.)

Well, that's all.

Spread the word! :D

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing..

2010-01-04T23:37:00.000-08:00

Currently: getting in the post at last minute. Net's back up but still likes to be iffy all day long. And waiting to watch a band on the late late show.

Just remembered how much I love this song. The video of it is great too. And the artist. He's got a great voice. Need a CD or two of his.

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?

I sing ya songs I dance a dance
I gave ya friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you
And maybe you been through this before
But its my first time
So please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool
I keep playing your part
But its not my scene
Wont this plot not twist?
I've had enough mystery.
Keep building me up, then shooting me down
Well im already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting

Well if I was in your position
Id put down all my ammunition
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?
No I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool, foool
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson

That's all for today.

"Who would not like you?"

2010-01-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

Currently: listening to this. (Ima be pushy like ALQ and tell you to download it. Cause its really good.)

Today was good. Today was church and teaching kid's church and ahhhh I adore those children.

I always forget. I get two months off to work Media and sit in the sermons and I FORGET. And then I show up and they are cutecutecute and I fall right back in love with them.

I dont know what it was about today but I decided to be silly and made them laugh while I told the story of wise man and foolish who built there houses on the rock and sand.
The theme of the lesson? Jesus is our rock. Our foundation and cornerstone is him.
HEH. This next five weeks is body-themed so it talked about skeletons and I got to sit and play with playdoh for the half the lesson. (You know you're jealous.)

OH. I totally forget what I was talking about (cause I ask the kids how their weeks were and stuff before I get into teaching and then today we had a small distraction (spider in the room. really. it's not going to eat you little ones)), but one of the kids said

"Who would not like you?"

Me=*melts*

TOTAL awwwww moment. Love it.

Oh right. I prayed with. ^_^. I love that they WANT to pray and volunteer to pray for everyone.

Eee. Thats it for todays post. Im totally dead-tired even after a very long nap and Im getting this post in at the last moment. Not intentional. Just woke up latelatelate.

Resolutions? More just rambling thoughts

2010-01-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

Currently: annoyed with net. but stuck with it too.

I *meant* to post this as my first Jan post yesterday but got "Dare You To Move" stuck in my head and well, went off on a slight tangent.

okay. Here's the thing. I dont really do real resolutions. I think about doing something, whether or not it would be good, howd it turn out, what would happen, etc.

I heard/read once that the best way to keep a New year's resolution is to start it beforehand and just keep it going after.

I only have one real big thing on my mind and it's writing. I want to write more, write better. And Im not talking about just blogging here and sharing stuff with all but also writing more of my own stuff, which lately HAS been happening which Im happy about and excited about.

Ive got other little things like thinking about exercising in my apartments exercise room a n hour a day. Mostly to catch a show Ive missed and dont get anymore, but hey-motivation to work out, right?

I should add stuff like get a job and try to procrastinate less.

I have been working on getting a job. Am still. Its just the slow process of filling out 20 apps and waiting for one phone call and hoping its the right job that sticks.

Procrastinating? Well....we will see.

I mean, I have three weeks till spring semester starts. heheh.

Alright. Ive got to get back to trying to download/print my teaching lesson for kids church tomorrow.

TTFN!

Welcome to the planet...

2010-01-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

Currently: rubbing my nose. Yes, really.

(Here's to day 1 of posting for an entire month. Yes I procrastinated till last min)

I couldnt help but think of "Welcome" songs today. I mean, we rejoice and celebrate and all of this when we have a new king of life- a recovery, a person, an animal, something.

And now we have this new year.

And it seems like everyone is welcoming it. Its not that 2009 was a horribly bad year for year, but in some ways, its been harder than most.

But thats good sometimes.

The more we struggle, the more we see how strong we are.
We get pushed past our breaking points.
We think that we lose hope only to take one ,more step and fall into entire oceans of it.
The lonelier we become, the more we reach out to others around us to pull together.

I want this year to be something like that. I want to find something extraordinary in our everyday life.
I mean, why shouldnt we?

Ive seen the craziest things happen, Like Stuff Christians Like getting people to donate $60,000 to build two schools in Vietnam despite us being in a horrible recession.

I feel hope and change for this year. And not the kind that Obama talked about and promised.

But the kind that comes form ourselves. the kind that comes from God alone. Our own hope. Our own change. Our lives, powers, freedoms, experiences.

Welcome 2010.

Is this the New Year?

2009-12-31T17:30:00.000-08:00

"Don't let New Beginnings end in Old Endings. Here's to new mistakes for with them comes new learning." - Keith Tutt, II

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

...

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
For broken hearts and broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

...

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
Does justice never find you?
Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in, until the world caves in...
The Blues-Switchfoot

When she's near the new new years here

And there's not a resolution I can't do

When She's Near-Fiction Family

I never *got* new years.
I mean, I get, We've had this Holiday season of thanksgiving and Christmas and good feelings and we'll finish it off by celebrating anew year.

Maybe because its more of a party type holiday.
Me? Im happy sitting here listening to music. I look forward to listening to "The Blues" as the first song of the year.
I look forward to seeing how many books I can read before school resumes.

Not to put new years down.
But I mean-Its not magical to me anymore. I talk to people across the world who are already in tomorrow almost daily.
Its just time passing, moving along.
10 years ago I was nine and news had me thoroughly convinced that the world would end THAT night.
Seriously. I was putting my name on things in ym room and was 100% convinced that I was going to meet God.

Now here I am, looking at the world say the world will end soon.
Again.

...
Really??!?

The world will end when Jesus comes back.
And that day?? Well only God knows when that is.

Im not trying to dump on New Years.
Its great. To go back, see how a year in your life went, hope the net one is better, its great.

2009 was good to me. The last couple years of my life and felt crazy and this year I got this place where I more or less realized who I am and was okay with it, despite everything else.

But I want 2010 to be great.
And Ive realized great amazing things dont start out that way. They come from the normalcy.
They are the stumbled upon things, the things we pass every day waiting to be looked at.
but not just looked at, but really looked upon.

but that? It takes time. Everything in life takes time, and Im fine with it.

As impatient as I get with some things, Im willing to wait.
I know someday great things will happen, and Im willing to sit back and just be me until it comes.