I can be Productive...sometimes.

Being offline always kind of irks me.
Not that Im addicted. I regularly take breaks from being online, long weekends, a couple weeks, or limit it just down to email or such.

But most of the time, I know when it's going to happen. I admit, I plan my Farmville crops around when I'll be able to get online and actually play.
But I mean, doesnt everybody nowadays? (They're making a movie about Facebook for goodness sakes...)

But anyways. My point? MY computer at home got disconnected on Wed and it threw me into a funk.
In all honestly, I whined a lot. I wont say why cause...Ive really ranted about it about it a lot but I was just irked.

But since I was awake and had no computer or internet Wednesday night...I cleaned my room.
I did big other chores too but the biggest was cleaning my room which is something I've needed to do since...May. Maybe even April.
So what I do?
Well, Id already pulled about 80% of my clothes out my closet(they'd been on the floor so that helped)
Went through, figured what was clean and dirty, washed the dirty stuff. Then hung up folded all the clean stuff. (I used all my hangers. Exactly. I always forget how much clothes I actually have)
I moved things around in my closest as to prevent less messes in the future.
Then I dragged boxes out of my room that are full of my moms stuff and leaned and organized my book stand.
I organized my purse that I got back in May.
Took the pins and buttons and such off the old purse and put some on the new purse.
What else?
I forget.
There was a lot of trash.

I still need to vacuum and organize the book shelf but..eh.

BUT.
but.
For the first time in..years...I decided not to move the furniture around in my room.
I dunno if its the whole feeling more or home or just liking it or planning on leaving in a few months.
Or the fact that Ive had my bed in every corner and angle of my room possible.
Anyways.

Ive been working a lot. I did try to get online. Used moms laptop yesterday for like an hour but it was going sloth slow on me and i barely got through my e-mail.
Tried to use computer library today. Had an hour. Took me 45 mins to get through facebook sthuffs and then the computer froze on me. >.<
(I got a lot of books and CDs though too. :D)

But all is well now.
Home computer is working.
Just as long as I keep working and cleaning house.
And its pretty dang clean right now.

And this post is pretty dang long so I'll save my other thoughts for another day...or at least for a few hours.

Home is a concept.

I think for every thousands of people that want out of where they are and into California,
there is at least one Californian who wants out.

I am that Californian.

I cant even really explain it.
Not in ways that make sense.

It could always be as simple as I've been in the same city since I was 3, the same county my entire life, I have that traveling itch, that wanderlust, and just...out.

And that I spent three weeks away from home. Two in Ohio with a best friend and family and one week kind of close to home with my boyfriend.

The more time I spend away from home, the less I miss it.
The less it becomes home in my heart.

Only in Church or near the ocean or in the rain or while flying do I feel home.
When Im close to God.
In my own personal way.


This is not to say I dont love my life.
I do. I have a great life. And Ive had great experiences. Both here and many other places.

But my life is changing and I know that my home will change with that.
To where and when I dont know yet. I just do know that it will.