something old.

It's hard for me to let go of things. Easier than the rest of my family, I'm not as much as a pack rat as it seems around my house but...sometimes remembering the past that much can turn out to be....not so good.
I mean, the other day, realized there are good things. I value the past, i see what effect it has on present day. Sometimes people find me ..strange for that. Like I remember in ninth grade-World History-tearing up at the pictures of the Holocaust and the Atomic bomb being dropped on Japan. I just w rote a paper on the Salem Witch Trials and I was so sad and riled up about how unfair, how crazy it was.
Even the smallest decision can have the biggest impact. I'm not even talking about ho much it would affect America or the world if something hadn't happened-but what about your life you know? If hadn't gone with my last ex I would be a year single instead of just 6 months. If i had quit Orchestra for good after fifth grade-no cello, then what? Would I have done choir for years or just fallen into my bad habits earlier?

But sometimes, it's not a good thing. For a long time in my family, it was just being a pack rat. A garage you cant park your car in because its filled with old cloths, files cabinets, boxes of memories, bikes that arnt used. a house filled with bookshelves that never have extra room, a computer desk that has piles of cds.
But later in life it becomes more-specifically, letting go of the past.
To make it understandable, it's like having to forget an old boyfriend who turned out to be not so great. You've broken up, there is hurt, resentment, anger, sadness. You want to forget it, let it go, move on with your life...but you can't. Not right away. There's the whole grieving time, then the getting over it and finally moving on-weather or not that brings a new boyfriend or just being single. But sometimes-it's not even that easy. Sometimes multiples events make one bigger than it was, making the process of letting go longer-having to deal with every little part of it-remembering the past-every part-even when you can't-and then..........just letting it go.
Not forgetting it. There are certain things we can never forget.We have battle scars that show we survived these things. But even when you get to the root of it, you feel like you can't face it.
It's in our past so why can't we just face it and let it go?
Maybe because we put time and care into it. Even if the thing you have to let it go, in the overall, was just a blip, this tiny thing compared to all else you've done, there was time in it.
And it's hard to let g f or give anything tat you've cared for. Sometimes its not our choice. Sometimes its the people in our lives who pass away or even just walk away and leave hurt. Sometimes yis you having to ake te first difficult step and walk away.
But then there are thins where it's all you. giving up a diary full of emotion and hurt. Leaving a friend ho brings you down. Leaving a goodrelationship because you know it's wrong and you need to be on your own. In the end, we all know it's the best thing to do.

In the end, we console ourselves with facts and truth that should rule our lives.
But we spend a helluva time being emotional and just learning how to let it go.