Is this the New Year?

"Don't let New Beginnings end in Old Endings. Here's to new mistakes for with them comes new learning." - Keith Tutt, II

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

...

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
For broken hearts and broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

...

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
Does justice never find you?
Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in, until the world caves in...
The Blues-Switchfoot


When she's near the new new years here

And there's not a resolution I can't do

When She's Near-Fiction Family

I never *got* new years.
I mean, I get, We've had this Holiday season of thanksgiving and Christmas and good feelings and we'll finish it off by celebrating anew year.

Maybe because its more of a party type holiday.
Me? Im happy sitting here listening to music. I look forward to listening to "The Blues" as the first song of the year.
I look forward to seeing how many books I can read before school resumes.

Not to put new years down.
But I mean-Its not magical to me anymore. I talk to people across the world who are already in tomorrow almost daily.
Its just time passing, moving along.
10 years ago I was nine and news had me thoroughly convinced that the world would end THAT night.
Seriously. I was putting my name on things in ym room and was 100% convinced that I was going to meet God.

Now here I am, looking at the world say the world will end soon.
Again.

...
Really??!?

The world will end when Jesus comes back.
And that day?? Well only God knows when that is.

Im not trying to dump on New Years.
Its great. To go back, see how a year in your life went, hope the net one is better, its great.

2009 was good to me. The last couple years of my life and felt crazy and this year I got this place where I more or less realized who I am and was okay with it, despite everything else.

But I want 2010 to be great.
And Ive realized great amazing things dont start out that way. They come from the normalcy.
They are the stumbled upon things, the things we pass every day waiting to be looked at.
but not just looked at, but really looked upon.

but that? It takes time. Everything in life takes time, and Im fine with it.

As impatient as I get with some things, Im willing to wait.
I know someday great things will happen, and Im willing to sit back and just be me until it comes.

And then a random splattering.

I know I already posted. This is a quick follow-up.

If you haven't noticed-Ive been playing around and editing how my blog looks.

Like changing the top graphic and adding a blogroll (tried to get the blogs I read most-let me know if you want on and arnt there!)
I kind of want someone to change it even more for me. But we'll see.

for those of who who read this on facebook-I have it set up where I post on my blogspot and then facebook just automatically transfers it over to note form. (The link is belovedcellist.blogspot.com)

Hm. I dont what else. I thought Id do something productive today and all I really did was edit my blog and look up books online.

I havent even checked the boards yet. urgh. bad bad internet.

In other news-TWO episodes of Glee on tonight!!!

1287 songs on shuffle.

Currently: listening to my mp3. 1287 songs on shuffle. Im on #50. (and yes I skip randomly)

This is my official 100th blog.
Wow.
Its weird being able to keep track of how much I write. In my journal its just "oh, Im just a tad closer to needing a new one"
(Yes I still write in a journal.)

Oh. So next year (which starts Friday) Im doing this thing. theres this site called NaBloPoMo and its for bloggers and you can sign up and then do these things where you write every single day for a month.
I thought about in November and didnt but Im signed up for January.


Im hoping I can do it. (I'll prolly continue signing up until I actually do post every day. Im just a tad bit of a perfectionist that way sometimes.)
Ive been writing a lot more lately and I think it'd be fun to write a little short thing every day outside of my songs and poems and short stories (that I only ever rarely post).


I want to start out this new year...a new way. We'll see what happens right? Heh

Anyways I put my little badge thing on the side there so you can see it.

And..what else? I dont know. I'll try and squeeze in another post before the new year. We'll see. :)

Switchfoot Insomniatica

Currently: listening to bootlegs from my first ever switchfoot concert. :D

For the record, Im not having bad case of insomnia, Im just not tired enough to sleep but being up this late makes me look like Im an insomniatic. (Which Im sure amuses "the aussies" if theyre reading this. I know its your favorite word Emily. :ph34r:)
((I SHOULD be tired. I started cleaning my room today and usually that drains me but I started cleaning it out of frustration and annoyance so Im more just emotionally kind of drained. I mean, cleaning is better than taking it out on someone and getting in trouble with the parents. Its productive too!))
(((Im not even sure what the title of this blog is supposed to mean. blame it on the insomnia? Hehe...)))

Heeeeeerrrrrrreeeeeeeesssss the thing. I got an mp3 for Christmas.
My parents researched and its a Sony 8gig, which apparently, Sony hasnt made great ones before but this one is good.

I mean, its got good sound quality. Heh. Actually its great. Ive just been spoiled by having an iPod once in my life. (And oh do I miss it.)

ANYWAYS. So Ive slept the last couple days putting on music, and tonight I found my old Switchfoot bootlegs. So I put them on and listened. I have all 9 from my first Switchfoot concert.

And not to be a Switchfoot freak, but MEMORIES!

(Who remembers the bootlegs? Amazing! And the letting us pick a song that theyd play at the show we we're going to?? LOVE IT!)

Oh my. The whole Jon saying hi to his hometown, and Keith! Keith played at my first concert!
I keep playing the last two songs over and over cause I can pick out his cello in this songs- I love it.

And then I remembered that this was the O!G. tour. Over two and a half years ago.

And how the O!G. album turned 3 on Saturday. Three years since the last album before HH.

Wow.

It blows my mind all the life that has happened in between and since.

Between my first concert and my last one, which was, epic. I cant put the whole of it into words.

Oh my. I think they play Lonely Nation differently now and daisy never ceases to amaze. Same with learning to breathe.

ohand.

One thing.

Whenever I play "Sing It Out" it always reminds of the stuff played between the songs. And I listen to these 9 songs and I hear it. I hear the beginning glimpses of what the guys were going through. What HH became, what future albums might become y'know?

This band..you go back and you see it. You see how theyve grown from these 3 college kids trying to make an album to a five-piece band of great down-to-earth people who do so so sooooo many great things.

It leaves me in awe.

It left me in awe at my first concert, and 5 years and 3 days after getting my album by them, it still leaves me in awe.

I think what I love most though, is that this is NOT the last time I feel like this. I'll dig out an album of theirs, a song, a poster, pictures, SOMETHING, and be reminded once again.

I love this band. <3

I like today. I like it every single year.

Currently: listening to Relient K's "Let It Snow Baby...Let It Reindeer"

I just realized Iv never been on a sleigh ride. *adds to bucket list*
(I dont have an actual list just mental one of things Ive wanted to since I was 5, 10, 15 years old.)

You would think, with how I had a white Christmas in Oregon, last year, it would have happened. but no.
Oh wells.

*takes momentary break to rock out to "12 Days of Christmas"*

*ahem* Okay now. Oh speaking of ages, divisible by 5, I like today.

Why?

Well..its 2 days to Christmas, and exactly two months to my birthday.
I feel slightly odd about it, just because ever since I turned 18, birthday have been different and this next year I exit my teenage years.

Thats right, I only have two months left to let my behavior be blamed on my young age.
Heh. Young age. I feel old. But I talk to/hang out with people anywhere from 2 years younger to 10 or more years younger than me almost daily. So, my fault right? Yea yea...

I just always found today to be an interesting day in my life. Its never really bad but nothing epically good happens to make it stand out. Its just this good day in my life. Honest, I think sometimes I look more forward to it than Christmas sometimes.

Wow. I turn 20 in two months and 2010 starts in a matter of days. Where has time gone? WOW.

Ah. Okay. Sorry if you get annoyed with my random posting. Ive felt like writing alot and if I post a couple more times in the next few days, I'll hit my 100th post. Heck. I could hit 100 just for this year if I started double posting. Heh.

(in 2008 I had six posts or something. Whatev.)

Kidding. Would not do that to you. Clog up your blogger feeds. Its just mean.

*sings Im Gettin Nuttin' For Christmas*

(For some reason..I would find it HIGHlarious if I actually sang that song and got nothing for Christmas...)

Merry Christmas all!!! :D

"Well I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas because I contributed to the green-house effect which melts the Polar Ice Caps which melts the North Pole where Santa Clause lives. He's mad."

Is this just another trend or? What?

Currently: feeling off kilter. And I have Relient K's "This Week The Trend" stuck in my head (haven't listened to it in MONTHS btw...)

Facebook is funny. Its one of things that starts with good intentions and purposes.
Connect with family and friends from your past or from now, this just makes it easier to know whats going on in their life.

I like my facebook. Make fun of me, but i like playing farmville and de-stressing a little bit every day when I harvest something or pretend Im a great farmer. (Ive actually been planting flowers lately, so Im more of a florist I guess...)
I like being able to talk to people in other countries and states I dont get to see.

I dont like what its been reduced to though.

Maybe we just need better etique rules for this generation, what with our cell phones and laptops.

But-Is it not just me? Shouldnt bigger peices of news be told in person?

I mean, I et it if you cant tell the person face-to-face, or if soething like your facebook or myspace is the only way you CAN contact them...

But if someone is relatively close to you. Or was at some point in your life. Shouldn't you at least, make a phone call? A text message at least (although big pieces of news through text can be horribly tacky...) ?

Maybe this is a the trend among my generation (sadly). We let people know about engagements, marriages, career changes, and such all the same way now.

Its like we've lost the touch of talking to people in the face and through personal touch.

The thing is, Im hoping and not hoping its a trend.

Because if it is, trends come and go. Maybe in some years, we'll find a better way to handle this thing.

But if it is, I'll probably get sucked in.

What?

Because yes, I am, with a few too many things, a hypocrite.

Its when I was 8 and said I never be into disney artists. And now still hold in my heart a soft spot for Justin Timberlake.

Its when I was 10 and said Id never be "that kind of teenager". And at 19 look back and wish my junior year I had grown up faster. (Mom/Dad if you're reading this-Im sorry. I know I'll pay till my dieing day for the antics I did and the pain I caused the family that year or two. I love you.)

All this meaning-I hope I dont let everybody in my life know earth-shattering news through facebook first. Id like to tell some of you to your face.

I know its human. We say things. We go back on them. Which is why maybe I learned to not say a lot. Not make definite promises. Life happens. We do things we never really thought we would. We fall in and out of trends and into our own styles.

I want this not to be our lives. For this to be a trend and go away and leave us with a normal "how thing used to be" kind of life.

I should know better. The world has become a constant rotation of different trends.

But that doesnt mean we should we live that way.

Just because we live in this world doesn't mean we're a whole complete part of it forever.

And...passed. :)

Currently: feeling like the last bit of school weight is off my shoulders.

I did it! I not only survived finals week and its craziness but I passed my three classes to boot!!

Ah.

So. Im going to take you through the craziness of the semester.

Semester starts. Taking french, stats, and two online:music and history.
French and stats both on tues/Thurs but at opposite ends of the day, so I was at school all day those days.
Fast-forward to almost mid-terms.
Drop french class.
Why?
As excited as I was to take it, I was learning quickly that It was not my thing. Or maybe it was a combination of the ten million little assignments we had to do I kept passing due to other work and that it was a morning 4-unit class and a hard teacher.
I dont know. But dropped it.

Considered and actually for about 24 hours added another music class after midterms that was shot length.
Had issues with book and it was not worth the hassle. dropped it.
Yes, I could have used the extra units to have health insurance, but its not like I got swine flu this semester.
Im alive.

Fast-forward.
Finals week.
Monday
Online Hist is dued. read Questions, typd up answers, submitted it.
Ended up getting a C in the class(78%! So close!! with a 80% on the final (it was only 10% of the grade...).
Am happy, I mean. I took the class cause I more interested in the History of England itself and I learned a lot. I passed. Yay.

Tuesday. Study study study. I think
I was working on my music final.
Oh. Stats project was due. I had the last paragraph in out group project/report, so stared at emails for a couple hours, typed it up, and sent it off to classmate who was going to drop it school. We got a 49/50 on it. Yay us!

Wednesday
Music final due. Finished it, submitted it, went to a concert to write my report on, came home, typed it up and submitted it.
Got a C in the class (74%). It was those darned quizzes! I got so easily confused on them in the beginning of the semester. OH well.
And even though I passed the class, Im still considering retaking it. But, even if I aced it the second time around, My grade would still average out to a B. Hm. Maybe not? I dunno...

Thursday.
Stats final.
4-5:30am. Studying.
Then slept for a few hours.
Woke up, showered, dressed,ate. studied like a madwoman till I had to be at school.
Took the final. Got an A (90%) on the final and a B(84% I think...) in the class.

NOTE: Do not take Stats think,ing its straight math. Its so much more than that. I will be so happy to go back to regular math after this. Although, I think my requirements are fulfilled and I may not need/have to take another math class...Hm.

Of course, Thursday night is when it all me. I was tired, brain-dead/braindrained and just so so so out of it.
Oh yes, there was me saying random things and jumping up and down for no reason-WHICH included some jingling thanks to my bell earrings. Love them.


Today is my rest day.
Although, Im already thinking about ym own to-do list. Like Christmas stuff, and signing up for spring classes. And I dont know, cleaning my room? HEH.

Ah. I feel so hahhy. For what felt like a topsy-turvy semester, it all turned out alright.

Brainbreak.

Currently: In the middle of finals week.

Okay. I should be finishing my "break" now, but Im not quite ready to get back to wrok so I want to write. But I really have nothing to blog about.

Soooo I shall share this video with you. (No, no. Its not ukulele kid. heh heh)



It was originally posted on this blog.
Well, okay that's where I saw it and everything.
I love it.
Vitamin String Quartet always wins (they did a switchfoot tribute album. yes im plugging switchfoot, leave me alone).

Alright. Back to homework. Or that secret Santa project. Hmmm.

What what? Well, that's interesting

Currently: trying to decide what to wear for my job interview. Eeepa.

Hey you! Look at this. A friend sent me a Christmassy e-mail and in it it explained what the 12 days of Christmas really mean so I thought I'd share it with you all. :)

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.

What in the world do leaping lords, French hens,

swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out

of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

This week, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone

during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.

It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids-a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.'

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone

Isn't that cool?
Heh

ANDDDDD here's a song to go with.


ALSO. Why does seem everybody is complaining about the rain?
I like the rain. The rain is my friend.

And God knows we need it.

Sheeshers people. Come on. Rain is NOT that bad.

Alright. Time to start to getting ready for my job interview. What??? yes. =)

Good luck charm, fo sho.

Currently: smiling. :) (And replaying the newest episode of Glee on Hulu *sings loudly with song*)

I think the rain is my good luck charm.
Or something like that.

I mean, I have my theories, opinions, thoughts, whatever that whenever it rains, God is in there.
That for me, he's more clear in the rain.

But then-good things happen when it rains.

My life right now?
Tonight and tomorrow Im ushering two school concerts that are essentially my music class finals. I was supposed to go see them and write reports-but ushering gets me full credit. FULL.

FULL CREDIT.
Win.

Also. Decided to randomly apply for a job online today. This company used to send me mail all the time so todya something popped up in my e-mail.
I swear, not even...15, maybe 10 mins, after I hit the submit button. They called me.
And I have a job interview tomorrow.
Im so stoked.

My finals are looking easier and easier and they end this coming Thursday. And then 5 weeks off till Spring Semester.
Im getting things done.

I really think its the rain. It jut washes away crap and I see better, clearer.
Its my little good luck charm.

Ah. Eee.

Oh. And two of my friends come home from college today. SO HAHHY. I miss them muchos.

Ah. Feels like there's more. Im so elated. I love that God has put me in this place in my life.
I mean, a few months back, no. I hated things I had to go through, but now?
Its worth it.
He always makes it worth it.

Ehehe.

Okay. Last thing?
I watch this show called Glee.
Wed night was the last show for a few months.
And they did the song "Dont Rain On My Parade"
(oh my. *giggles* and here im talking about yes please rain. ahaha *giggles madly*)
Anyways.
I love the original Barbara Streisand Funny Girl version, I really do. One of my fav movies right there.
But I cannot stop playing this version.
Watch the episode here.
The song itself is from 24:17 - 27:20 (click the fourth little bracket thingy)

Or I shall paste it here.


Eee.
*sings loudly with*

Okay. Off to wear a black skirt *gaspeth* and white shirt tonight and tomorrow. Woot.

Something in the weather

Currently: happy to see crazy winds and wet ground outside my window. :) Also laughing that at all the songs playing have the word "rain" in them. I didn't make this playlist with that intention.

I think its the rain that proves I'm not a true Californian at heart.
I love it way too much.
I like better than most any other type of weather. (Snow is great -but Ive only experienced it a few times).

Maybe its just cause I see more of God it the rain.
Maybe it inspires me to write more, write better.
Maybe because I'm that much like my dad and it makes me sleep better, puts me more at peace.
Maybe because in my mind, its not the holiday season in So Cal until the rain hits.

I went to lunch with the family yesterday and it hit on the way home that I can wear my jingle bell earrings now that's its December.
Yes jingle bell earrings. I have a pair that are hoops with little bells and a pair of dangly ones with six little bells each.
I love them. Love how I hear them every time I move my head.
(Thank you Walgreen's and your cheap $1 earrings...)

Something about it being Dec 7 and me not being totally Christmas mode is a bit weird.
But the rain sealed that. I feel like listening to Christmas music and wearing socks (yes, wearing socks. I never wear them except for a few days in this month) and wearing crazy things like jingle earrings and hair hings that have bells in them.

There's something in this rainy weather for me most definitely. I love it so.

December. Oh my.

Currently: PROcrastinating. And listening to a schizophrenic playlist (am i the crazy one for picky the music or is it windows media for playing it in the order its playing it in? ...Heh. Whatever)

Its December.
The six-year-old inside me is sad. Why?

Because Im not listening to Christmas music. Not singing about how I want a hippopotamus or a hula-hoop or even... my two-front teeth.
I havent even made a Christmas wish list yet!

Why??
College.
Because in two weeks, I'll be done with finals and my first official semester as a college kid.

but in those weeks I have a test, a project, possible extra credit, two concerts, two reports, lessons, lessons, lessons, and then finally, finals. Heh.

I know I'll do fine. That this is just new to me. Well, not entirely, but partially. Its slightly weird really.

But Im getting the hang of it and surviving and all that's good, right? HEH.

Alright. Just wanted to let you people know in case you think I fell off the earth cause Im not posting or blogging or twittering or facebooking or replying to emails or ...something.

Hehe.

*bunkers back down into the mountain of studying*