Our world needs prayer.

I just tweeted this but..it couldnt fit into 140 characters and my thoughts go farther.

My heart hurts for Haiti and Chile and Chelsea King tonight. Im too stunned how how our world goes to one tragedy to start to recover and see another. But Im selfish too. Im going to need so much prayer to be able to get all my homework done this week. I cant even laugh it. And then theres the selfish me that hates long-distance in my life. It just all makes me sad. Our world needs so much prayer.

--"My heart hurts for Haiti and Chile and Chelsea King tonight"
I dont have the money or time to give to the devastating natural disasters that seem to literally rock our world so I pray. Its sad. To see one event, to still be recovery, and just...be hit by another?
It makes me sad, makes me wonder why its happening.
And Chelsea King.
Went missing in Poway. I have friends in LA tryin to get her home. I went to downtown san Diego and today and people were posting flyers.
Another local girl went missing a year ago. It freaks me out, makes me sick, sad, and worried that these girls are just disappearing. That whole communities are putting out so much time and effort to find..what? A shoe?

I pray God brings them home and brings their families peace.

--"But Im selfish too. Im going to need so much prayer to be able to get all my homework done this week. I cant even laugh it."
Maybe its time management or something but I have projects and essays due this week and others I have to start on this week.
I feel like seeing my friends before my birthday, taking a break then...I cant decide if it was good or bad. Should I have been preparing for this? Or was it good that I saw my own little world or people before being crushed by homework again?
Im feeling the need to shut down things like twitter and facebook and things.

My focus is on school this week. I will find some way to get it all done. (even if it means no sleep and lots of coffee.)

--"And then theres the selfish me that hates long-distance in my life."
Well, another part of selfish me.
My closest friends know. too many relationships in my life are hindered by the fact that...we dont live the same county, state, country.
There are nights Im just..sick of it. Esp lately. I love you all so much.

--"It just all makes me sad. Our world needs so much prayer."

Here's the big point. The bigger thing.

Our world needs God.

Its just that simple.
We need prayer.
We need love.
We need to God to be more present in our lives.

We need to start being better examples of Jesus. Better examples of Christ's love.


I cant look at the sadness and the worst of the world things and even my own personal things and not think that.
We NEED him.

Im praying my heart and my life out for all of this. I hope you are too.

"Mysterious ways why God gave his life to put motion inside my soul"

Currently: listening to Switchfoot's "Love Is The Movement". Remembering why I fell in love with this song in the first place. Have it on repeat.

Hi. I havent posted in a long time. Which makes me feel bad. Cause there are things Ive been wanting to post. But I dont. Cause Im busy. And get distracted much too easily.
--Things including a range from Olympics to how I spent this weekend away to how Im spending my last day as a teenager even to Banana Pancakes.
---Dont judge. You read this blog. You love my random topics.

-Im really tired. And should go to bed. But Im not cause I have to plan for this long day tomorrow (today) and need to do a couple homework things.
-Even if I did go to bed Id just read for a while. And distract myself for at least another hour. Ad then worry and do things online.

-Seeing a couple sitting across from me on the Sprinter gives me so many mixed emotions

-Im really sick of not having money. I like that Ive heard a lot of sermons lately about not worrying about it and such but ugh.

-Im really obsessed with the Olympics. Pure out straight in love with them.

-I think I might be getting sick. My nose is stuffy and im coughing horribly.
-But I dont want to say anything because
A) my friend will think its her fault. Which Im hoping it isnt.
B) Even though I said Id be sick on my birthday, I didnt really want it to happen.

-Im really excited to play my cello again. You have no idea.

-I REALLY need to do laundry. Like, I have clean shirts and jeans and stuff, but My favorite shirts are dirty and Im completely out of undershirts. and I only have like two clean pair of good underwear. TMI? Maybe. But truth.

-I really hate my internet.

-I dislike talking to people on IM and having them fall asleep on me. ESP when theyre supposed to call. Or have their status set in a way where it wont show if they go idle.

-I got my hair-trimmed. It was a birthday present.

-The McDonalds coffee I had this morning-it feels like its just wearing off. I dont know how I survive Sundays without coffee. Long long days.

-Im going to Big Bear next month. Excitement.

-I officially havent checked anything Switchfoot related in 72 hours. Little jittery over here. Maybe its the remnants of the coffee.

I think Im done now.
Oh look Im yawning now.
Coffee tomorrow? YES.

"You are the hope, that keeps me trusting."

This song has been stuck in my head.
I love it. Its applicable to my life and I always feel the need to share it.
(There is the famous skit to this song to, but as a musician, I fall much more in love with the song and the words)

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

I need these 10 minutes, I need this honesty.

Currently: listening to this song.

My last post-the one wrote yesterday and just now posted. It scares me.

I wanted to write what Im now added to it, but I knew it I couldnt.

Because now Im talking about fear and honesty.

Ive been very scared with my life lately. And its because I know that God has not only placed me in a time of my life I dont understand, but situations are completely new and foreign to me too.

But at the same time, its forced me to be be more honest.
Mostly more honest in general, but more importantly, more honest to myself.

Here's the thing. I need this. I need God.

I dont care if you read my blog or not, agree with my life and opinions or not, cause this is me.

And me? As scary as it is to admit I have issues just to spend 10 minutes with God, Im being honest about my situation.

I need those 10 minutes to be away.

I need to be honest about how it went too.

I am me when I write and sing and worship. But if you ask me how I am in person, I bend my truth. I routinely say "fine, okay".

I am scared of getting my heart hurt horribly hurt again, even when Im happiest Ive ever been in my life.

But I want to be truthful. I am sick and tired of the drama and games of hiding old fears, of not working them out.

Sometimes that includes my worries that Im still depressed or that I'll never work out a "normal life" that a lot of people want for me.

But it also includes how great life is, how much God has blessed it.

I am scared, but I am honest in this new time of my life.
Im not sure which part of it is bigger.

I love the old parts, I love the comfort, But I have so much wanderlust.
I have feelings of temporanyiness and like I'll be somewhere else soon.

And Im so so so ready for it.

Ties to the World

Currently: in need of a nap. or something

My church is doing this 20/10 thing this year. Im not exactly sure on all the details cause for the whole first month of this year I missed the sermons and what not but essentially what it is, is for 20 days in a month, to spend 10 minutes a day with God.

I didnt do it last month due to just not understanding for some reason and in my mind being busy.
I knew I wouldnt do it if I wasnt reminded every week by pastor. Which is just..horrible.

Anyways. My church is doing it again this month and im going to try.

I just.."tried" now... I didnt think it would be this hard. Maybe its because its early in the morning and im frustrated with school and my net and its really early in the morning (I'll prolly post this much later) and other little things
BUT
I come to God so so so easily on Sunday Mornings for prayer sessions that last longer.
I stand and sing worship for so much longer.

So.Why?
Why is it harder in my home? For ten minutes?
To put on something like Lifehouse's "Everything" and just close my eyes and sing?
Maybe its because..my computer is here. My books. My phone. My distractions. My world.
All my ties to everything are here.

At church, its sanctuary, its safe. Its me and God. At home, its me and who I let in.

Ive been to conventions and camps where the theme was "Stop the Noise".
And it needs to be said. world noise, inner noise, personal noise, is so loud, so disruptive, so consuming and taking charge of our lives.

Has it become this hard to remind ourselves to take ten minutes away from it all?

My Favorite Month.

Currently: House in on. (I was watching Jeopardy before that. College week!)

Okay, here goes my first post for this month.
Oh and look at the pretty NaBloPoMo badge!
Eee. Heh.

I like February. Its my favorite month. Its that perfect bwtn Winter and Spring month and has my cats birthday, my birthday.
Im indifferent to VDay.
Oh. Had a meeting for kids church yesterday. Makes me very very excited for my church and our kids program.
I'll be a bit busier but we're doing things that hopefully make the kids happier and I love that part of it. :)

Not much else. Planning a long day at school tomorrow.

OH.ALSO.
I edited my blog a little bit but please please please let me know if i dont have your blog on my blogroll thing. Mmk?
At some point, im gonna go edit old posts and put more tags in. Its weird to see how much I post about what.
Alright. Im done.