My heart.

My cat went missing.
Hasn't been home since last Monday.

And until the other night I was fine. Then a thunderstorm blew through and my heart broke.
Some of you may not care, as it is just..a cat
But he was my cat. My baby. This furry black and white thing Ive had since he was born, who acted almost exactly like me.

My heart is breaking. I do not want to accept the truth that he might be gone forever.


But in a truly unexpected way, it is also healing.

This has been one of weeks where my heart is truly shone, where I cry at everything, where I am in just wonder and awe at God's power and how he works through everything.


My cat had a girlfriend.
This black and white cat who roamed the apartment complex.
She got pregnant. Considering she hung out with might cat, we figured it was his doing.

She's been coming to visit us more and more.

Today, she didn't leave our house.
Around 6 pm she went into labor.

And now, at 3:30 am, she is curled up on my bed with 7 newborn kittens.

I saw these kittens being born.

The miracle of birth is astonishing. Whether its a human, chicken, or cat. Its simply amazing.


My heart is healing.


My heart is breaking and healing because of the truth. Because of love, because of God.

And I realize, I know, that sometimes we have to be broken more to heal properly, to work better.


But as astonishing as this truth is, it still hurts.

I know I'll be fine. But now I am in a wandering state of mind.
Broken and healed.
Love.
And with God.

always.

Always with God.

And this post my friends..this is me being fully honest about things. No editing.
No going back and retyping my sentences.

I think it took my heart being more exposed for my truth to shine a little bit brighter.