Are you testing me God?

currently: Listening to music. Trying to keep my head level. long day

Here's the thing, I can almost always tell when God is testing me. On many thing that begin to get hard for me, my first reaction is to look to the sky and ask god if he is testing me.
It gets me to a place of wanting to be mad, but not wanting to be, knowing it's good for me or something.
I think I just hate more when I can't tell what exactly he's testing me on.

Today was kind of a testful day. I dont know how else to describe it.
I woke up dead tired and just not wanting to get out of bed and after getting ready and waiting till the last minute to leave my mom comes racing in the house because he brother just called and said that his wife is on life support.
Okay, thats all we knew.
So I set my twitter/facebook status asking people to pray and went on to school with a very pre-occupied mind.
The thing is, my day at school was really good. I think people were praying right away because I kept praying but I had this peace about.
Walking to first class, i walk through the middle of the college past the clock tower and water fountain into the library and in thie area there is almost frequently someone with a guitar playing. It makes me smile.
Well, this morning, walking past, he played the intro of some worship song. I dont know which one, even though some part of me knew it, but it calmed me because then in my head I was playing a couple worship songs and taking notes.
My English class I didn't do much. We had a group quiz and a guy in my group had already done most of the work. I got good feedback on my quiz. I got to leave an hour early.

My mood shifted once I was home. Neither me or my brother wanted to call my mom and interrupt something. My aunt was on life support and the plan was that morning to take her off of it and so my mom was going down to comfort her older brother.
Once my mom came home, I got the full story.
My aunt had health issues. And on top of those certain issues she did drink. Tried to get sober plenty of times but I dont know.
Long story short, she felt sick this weekend and kept drinking and her body started to slowly shut down. In some respects, she was already gone last night.
I dont know what to feel. I miss her. I didnt know her well, She and my uncle had been married when i was younger, then divorced, then got remarried just a couple years ago. I saw her maybe once or twice a year since they got remarried. She was a wonderful woman. I prayed all morning that God speak to her before she passed on.

But the one thought in my mind: I didnt think I could hate alcohol this much. It just got more personal.
Im soooo tired of grieving for things that get lost in this life.
I am consoled by the fact that my aunt knew beforehand what she wanted to happen if she did die, so everythings taken care of, but I just dont know. I cant seem to feel grief.

For anyone who prayed for my family today: Thank you so much. The prayers are so appreciated. If you could pray for uncle please do. He's been dealing with this for a while and my mom says he's okay, but I worry.

Okay, I'm wrapping this blog up because I'm going to start rambling soon.
Love you all.